Distance
by GwendolynTalbot
Summary: A hostage situation goes wrong when Olivia and Elliot try and fail to save a girl. Struggling with the guilt, Olivia abruptly leaves - Elliot won't let her walk away this time. Feeling he has nothing left to lose, he determines to find her and make sure she knows just how much she matters to him. Will she let him in and will they get through this together...as more than partners?
1. Chapter 1

**This story takes place around the early part of season 9. I feel I always find a slightly ropey way of writing out Kathy, so again I apologise for my dismissal of her, but needs must.**

 **This was stuck in my head when I woke up the other day so I had to start writing it - I won't neglect Sanctum though, so the updates may be a little slower for this one until Sanctum is finished. This will be painful and angst driven to begin with but ultimately a bit lighter overall than my other multi chapters - and I will be venturing into fluff at times - I will not neglect the EO love :-) Shorter chapters here, so once Sanctum is finished then there should be more frequent updates!**

 **PRELUDE**

"You don't want to do this…" Olivia said, her gaze drifting between the man holding the gun, and the girl on her knees in front of him.

" _I'm not letting you take me - and if I'm dying tonight, I'm taking this bitch with me!"_ he yelled as he jammed the gun hard against the girls head.

She was 17 - and she had suffered too much already - both detectives needed to stop this situation, and fast. The girl deserved to be filling out college applications, thinking about her future - moving on from the pain she had endured - _surviving_.

Olivia was aware of Elliot's presence. She didn't need to turn, she knew where he was, and that he was lining up, trying to get a clear shot.

Stepping forward slightly, Olivia placed her gun on the ground and raised her arms up.

"I've put my gun down, you can still walk out of here - let her go, and we can all walk out of here. You don't have to die - _no one has to_."

"HELP ME!" the girl screamed, as tears poured down her face.

Olivia kept her composure as she stepped forward again, "I wont come any closer than this, but I've done something for you, and put my gun down, now you do something for me. Drop your weapon, and let's walk away - _together_...please."

It happened so quickly - he stared hard into Olivia's eyes and simply pulled the trigger.

Elliot fired a split second too late - hitting the gunman, wounding him fatally. He stepped forward, his gun lowered, as he stopped in front of the two bodies. He felt numb - hollow - empty...until he caught sight of Olivia in his peripheral vision.

She had dropped to her knees, her hands on the ground, so close to the victim... _so close_ , and she had only been able to watch her life taken from her.

He stared at her, his numbness rapidly leaving him as he became filled with pain for her.

Moving closer he stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders, and gently lifting her back up. Once she was standing he turned her around and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly.

She didn't cry, but she gripped his jacket tightly with her hands - he could feel the grief inside her - he shared it too, the regret….blame…..sorrow. He held her close, not wanting to let her go - as if his embrace could erase the horror she had just witnessed.

They held each other silently as the sirens in the distance grew ever closer - eventually stopping once the lights swam around them from the sea of squad cars.

Elliot turned around and walked Olivia away from the scene, stopping when they reached captain Cragen who approached them slowly - realising immediately that there was no cause to rush.

He watched them both soberly - backup had arrived too late, but it would probably have made no difference. They would both blame themselves for failing - he knew they would struggle with this and hoped they would help to pull each other back up from it.

 **PRECINCT THE NEXT DAY**

Elliot walked into the squad room, it was much later than he would normally start work, but he was unhurried, knowing that he wasn't expected today. As he reached his desk he sat down and glanced across at Olivia's - there was no sign that she had been there so far that morning, and he leaned back in his chair as he looked across at the empty space in front of him. In truth he was concerned - he had called her three times and left two messages but she had not replied, and his thoughts kept drifting back to the night before. It bothered him - something nagged at his mind, and he couldn't let it go. Olivia had said so little since the shooting the night before, and her silence - the way she shut down, even to him, bothered him too much. Sighing, he got up and walked to Captain Cragen's office.

"Elliot...I didn't expect you in today," said Cragen as he looked up, surprised to see Elliot.

"I did say you should take some personal time, you need it after last night. If I see you here, it's because you are speaking to Huang.. _not to work_ ," Cragen paused, and gestured for Elliot to sit down. Confused, Elliot closed the door but remained standing.

"What's wrong?" Elliot asked.

Cragen looked at him and gave a sigh - it was clear that Elliot had not talked to Olivia, and he wasn't at all prepared for the conversation he needed to have.

"Have you spoken to Olivia?" Cragen asked tentatively.

"No... _why_?" Elliot asked, concern immediately colouring his voice.

"Elliot she called me last night...she is taking extended personal leave with immediate effect..."

"How long for?" Elliot asked.

"Two months...she didn't want to give me a date to be honest Elliot - _she left her gun and badge in my desk drawer_ \- I made it clear to her that she has a place here when she is ready to come back..."

Elliot immediately tensed, "She needs to be here - she copes with this crap by keeping going, getting back to work - we support each other...aren't you concerned about her reacting like this?" he said, his anxiety rising.

" _I am_ , but she has a right to take the personal time she has accrued - now is as good a time as any."

"She didn't return my calls last night - Cap...I need to go see her, she's shutting us all out and that's _not_ OK _._.."

"Elliot, maybe she needs some space right now...but as I'm about to tell you to go home, it's down to you what you do in your own time," Cragen said, wanting to respect Olivia's right to privacy, but hoping in some ways that Elliot would do exactly what he expected him too, and check up on his partner.

 **OLIVIA'S APARTMENT**

Elliot had been knocking for over ten minutes, and trying her cell phone, but she was not responding and he was growing more and more concerned by the minute. Eventually he had sat down outside her door, and simply waited - if she was out, she would come back eventually, so he would just wait, he had decided.

Elliot's sentry outside her door lasted only a further ten minutes before he made a decision - he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out Olivia's spare key - it was for emergencies, but he figured that she couldn't exactly be pissed at him:

 _If she choose to ignore him, then how the hell was he supposed to know if there was an emergency or not?_

He put the key into the lock and opened the door.

Inside her apartment was just as it always was - nothing seemed out of place and after a quick glance in the bedroom, he could see that she was not home. Feeling that his actions were slightly intrusive, he turned around and went to leave before the flashing red LED on her answer phone caught his eye.

His heart thudded faster as he noticed the five messages on her answer phone - the realisation that she had not picked up her messages suddenly worried him - and his feelings of intrusion rapidly left him. Checking the messages, he grew more and more concerned - the first two were from him, shortly after they left the crime scene the night before, one from Cragen, a further one from Elliot and a final message which made him stop and frown.

Pressing the play button again, he listened to the final message:

 _\- Miss Benson, thank you for your enquiry, I can confirm that your payment did go through. Have a nice flight._

Elliot took out his phone and tried her cell again, but this time it went straight to voice mail.

He had a growing sense of unease about this - the last time she had taken off without telling him, it had been after the mess of the Gitano case - but it took time to rebuild their relationship after that, and they were in a good place now - he couldn't believe that she would just leave without telling him again...

He paced her living room and glanced at her computer - she didn't tell him where she was going, or even that she was leaving at all - _but she wouldn't do that to him_ \- he was sure she realised how much she meant to him now - and what it would do to him if she just left…

He had been lost without her when she left the last time - then angry - needing an explanation from her. When he spoke to her in the locker room he was furious - she had requested a new partner - whatever he had said to her, he still felt betrayed and hurt. He realised he had hurt her too, but he felt he deserved better than that after the years they had spent together. Then she had come back, and he almost felt that they could go on as they had...until she left without a word. He knew the blame was slightly misplaced - but she could have said no to the operation, she could have told him she was going...she could have done anything other than just pick up and leave and give him no means to contact her. That hurt like hell, and he was not going to let her do it again - she could not walk away without realising the damage she would cause to their relationship... _and_ how much it would break his heart to lose her...

Thinking back to the night before, he tried hard to remember where she went - they had briefly separated when talking to Cragen and CSU. Cragen had said Olivia had gone home, but try as he might, he couldn't remember at what point she had left. He was angry at himself for not noticing she had left - it wasn't like her to take off so quickly and without a word.

He was torn - he knew she would be furious that he was trying to track her down, but she had walked away from a shootout at a crime scene - two bodies, a young woman, robbed of her life, and he knew she was shouldering more than her fair share of the blame. He knew she would be feeling responsible and struggling with it - _but they dealt with this kind of thing together..._

He sat down and switched on her computer - feeling both relief and guilt that she did not have her computer password protected, and then he opened a web browser and tried to reach her email account hoping she had saved her password, but he could go no further. He sat back in front of her computer and opened a web browser - pulling up the history, he could see nothing from the past two days. His concern grew as he realised that Olivia may not have been home at all. Picking up his cellphone, he dialled Cragen.

 _-Cap, I'm at Olivia's, it doesn't look like she came home last night - when did she call you?_

 _-I spoke to her at the scene and she said she was going straight here to write her report. When I got back she had already gone. She called an hour later and asked to take time off. Around midnight - that's as much as I know, Elliot._

 _-OK listen, she has a message on her answer phone about a flight - she hasn't been back to her apartment...she's just getting on a plane and going somewhere, I don't like this. We need to run her credit cards and phone records, and check where she went._

 _-Elliot! Stop this! She has every right to go on vacation - she is not a missing person, she is taking time off, there is no legitimate reason to run her cards._

Elliot heard the captain paused and give a frustrated sigh.

 _-Do you have any reason to be concerned about her?_

 _-It's just my gut, Cap - she wouldn't just take off like this without telling me...not again."_

 _-Give her time, I'm sure she'll call you once she's had some time to think._

 _-Yeah...I guess._

As soon as the call ended, Elliot redialled - he could not let this rest - he could not risk losing Olivia if she was walking away.

 _-Fin...I need a favour…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for reading, following and reviewing. :-) Updates won't be as fast with this one until Sanctum is finished, but I will try not to take too long, as I know how frustrating that is when you're in the middle of a story! Thank you for joining me on this journey which I am about to take Liv and El on - let's see if El makes any progress and if Liv is doing OK...**

Elliot only briefly returned home to grab a case and quickly fill it with clothes and the basics he would need. He had little idea where he was going beyond the airline that Olivia had booked with and a rough time of day, but he had no intention of letting that stop him. If Olivia wanted to walk away, he was _not_ going to let her do it. They needed each other - he knew she knew that, and at times just how much he needed her...it scared him, although he would not admit that. He didn't want to voice the strength of his feeling to her for fear that she would shut down and run, but now that she had done just that, he was done holding back. He was going to find her, and he was going to stop her from putting this distance between them - she would know how he felt about her, and he was damned if he was going to let her go without knowing that...

In only three hours Elliot had succeeded in boarding a plane for her destination - it had taken blatant abuse of his badge to get access to her flight information, and due to delays, he was in fact only an hour behind her. After an uneventful flight he had disembarked, retrieved his bag...and wondered where the hell to go next.

Knowing he was not far behind her in terms of the time frame, and doubting that she would come back to the airport to know what he was doing, he again used his badge to get the airport personnel to look at her photo and assist him. No-one airside had recognised her photo - but given the sheer number of people who passed through that was no great surprise. Her next step seemed obvious to him - she left the airport somehow, and there was a high chance that it was by hiring a car or by taxi. Fin had nothing on her cards but did have a cash withdrawal near the airport shortly before her departure - so he assumed she had paid for a taxi in cash.

It took Elliot forty minutes before he finally gave up on the taxi lead - far too many taxi's had passed through and no one recognised her. He was beyond frustrated and bordering on angry. She had given no thought to the impact she would have on him - he knew that wouldn't last though. She wouldn't just keep him out of her life - he knew he mattered more to her than that.

Elliot leaned back in a chair in the airport lounge as he reluctantly considered flying back home. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to rest - but all he could see was Olivia - the despair on her face as he turned her around and walked her away from the scene. He was fuelled on nothing but adrenalin - it had been coursing through him since the captain had told him that she was taking time off :

He _had_ to find her.

Their lives had gone on so deeply intertwined for so long, but their feelings never broached...It had to change - if she was going to do this, then he had to find her and bring her back - to her life, _to him_.

Picking up his phone to call Fin again, he hoped for a lead - anything to avoid get back on a plane and giving up. She was at least an hour ahead of him and that made searching for her just too difficult without having some clue as to where she had headed to. He didn't know where she was going, or even if she had a reason for going there, but he _had_ to find her. He was quite simply lost and incomplete without her and it was beginning to look like she really didn't know just how much he cared about her...just how much he _loved_ her.

 _-Fin - tell me you have something?_

 _-Yeah Stabler I have something..a pissed off captain chewing me out for running Olivia's phone records_. _You better call him - and right now._

Elliot sighed - he would find her, whatever it took, but acting on impulse and following her flight had seemed to lead him nowhere.

 **MOTEL ROOM**

Olivia lay on the bed, she hadn't bothered to undress or even pull the covers back - she hadn't realised how exhausted she felt until she climbed onto the bed. Now all that she wanted to do was sleep - but it would not come. Everytime she closed her eyes, she saw the scene play out again. She knew she should really have listened to Cragen's suggestion of talking to Huang but she had placated him by saying that she would do that when she came back...although she wasn't sure now if she had even said _when_ she would come back...everything from the moment Elliot had held her had been a blur, and she was amazed at herself that she had covered so much ground so fast. In truth, she had no idea where she was going - all she wanted to do was get away - she couldn't face going into work the next day, couldn't face talking about it...

She gave a sigh as she stared up at the ceiling - Elliot filled her thoughts immediately. She felt a pang of guilt at having left with no word to him, but turning her head and glancing at her switched off cell phone resting on the stand next to her bed, she just couldn't bring herself to reach out and pick it up.

He would be pissed at her for doing this, she knew that, but she was angry at herself - and she knew the longer she left it, the harder it would be to call him. Already after just a day, she was feeling more regret than she could handle alone, with the mess she was already dealing with. She knew she had only made things worse, and now she was left alternating between replaying the shooting in her head and wondering how Elliot had reacted to Cragen's news that she had left.

She felt so compelled to reach over and just pick up the damn phone - switch it on and call him. She didn't even need to call - just a text message, but anything she sent would open a door that she didn't want to walk through. She cursed herself for her own inability to make this right - but she hurt just too much. Just leaving...disappearing - it felt like the only right thing. It was a messed up decision, and the further away she had gone, the more she seemed to hurt. She closed her eyes and imagined what Elliot what do if she sent him a message - told him where she was. She imagined him lying on the bed with her, taking her in his arms, holding her like he had done at the crime scene….but she silently admonished herself for wanting that - she had no right to his comfort after undoubtedly hurting him.

She rolled over, facing away from her cell phone as her eyes focused on the light creeping in through the bottom of the curtain. She realised that the next day had come and she hadn't even slept.

Olivia had never felt more tired but sleep would not come easily. Her thoughts constantly drifted to Elliot as she lay motionless, staring at the growing light around the curtain edges. She blinked, surprised that tears were forming in her eyes. Moving her knees up she lay curled in the bed and didn't fight the tears as they fell. She sobbed for the girl she had failed to protect, her face filling her mind. She cried hard until she had no tears left and all that remained was sorrow, regret and guilt.

 **4 WEEKS LATER**

Fin shut the file, tossing it onto a pile on his desk and sighed. "I'm done."

"Finally! Lets go," Munch said as he put on his coat, casting a glance to Elliot.

"Stabler...you joining us for a drink?" Fin said.

Elliot sat back in his chair, "No, I gotta chase something down."

Munch and Fin exchanged a glance as Munch headed over to him. "Come on, you can't keep doing this - give yourself a break."

"I'm working Munch, I don't have time for a drink. Just go," Elliot snapped.

Fin rounded his desk and took hold of his monitor, swivelling it around so that he could see the screen

"Work? Yeah right Stabler you've been off your game since Liv left. Only lead your chasing is your partner. If you'd actually talk to us we could help you." Fin said.

"What the hell does it have to do with you if I am looking at a lead?" Elliot replied angrily.

Munch walked over and twisted the monitor back toward Elliot in an attempt to diffuse the tension between his partner and Elliot. "We care about her too Elliot - you're just tormenting yourself and it's not doing you any good She doesn't want us to find her...we have to wait till she's ready..."

"You really think I can just carry on and wait? We have no idea if she's OK...and I know every damn lead I've chased has got me nowhere, but eventually I'm gonna catch a break. I'm more worried now than I was before - even after I spent the best part of a week out there showing her photo around and got nowhere." Elliot said.

Munch glanced at Fin who gave a defeated sigh, "OK what you got?"

"Nothing," Elliot said firmly.

Munch raised an eyebrow questioningly as he exchanged a glance with Fin.

" _Nothing_...and that's the huge damn red flag here," he paused as he looked at Munch and Fin, ensuring he had their attention.

"Go on Elliot, we're listening," Munch said seriously.

"I have checked her financials and phone records every week - ran her prints and DNA again - checked with _anyone_ I can think of, and no one has heard from her. She took five hundred dollars in cash out of her bank account - the max the machine would allow. How far does that go in four weeks?" Elliot said determined to convince them.

"The only hit on her credit card was the flight...and she rarely used that card," Elliot took a breath, "she didn't have an automatic payment set up - she didn't use it much...but listen...she missed the card payment and the card is blocked. Don't tell me that's not a concern..."

"OK you got my attention Stabler - her financials were healthy, that's out of character for Liv." Fin said immediately concerned.

As if on cue captain Cragen exited his office to see his three remaining detectives standing around Elliot's computer. With a sigh he approached them.

"What are you all still doing here?"

"It's been four weeks cap - she should be officially reported missing so we can get more assistance investigating," Elliot paused, regretting his words even as he spoke them, "we might have made more progress if we had reported her missing right away. If you had listened to me she might be home by now!"

Cragen took a deep breath before responding, knowing Elliot was taking Olivia's disappearance hard and choosing not to react to his accusatory words

"Elliot - it's concerning for us all, but I couldn't justify opening a case because Olivia took vacation time! I'm on tentative ground as it is with this," Cragen sighed. "Look, we have all been unofficially investigating - every one of us here has been trying to locate her under the radar. Making it an official investigation puts the spotlight on her - she won't be happy."

"She missed a card payment - Olivia is not lax with her finance, she just doesn't do that," Elliot said, "it's been too long - I can't sit here every damn day right across from her desk, not knowing if she's OK - I can't even remember the last thing she said - the last words either of us spoke - I just remember how much she was struggling, how hard she took that girl's death. I can't sit here wondering if she's even _able_ to call. I can't be effective like this - my head isn't in this right now - she's my only focus, I need to be out there looking for her," Elliot said.

"We need to pull together as unit over this Elliot - you are falling apart and your cases are suffering. Look _-_ you need to take some personal time, _so do it_. Go look for her - we will keep investigating at our end," he sighed, "I might regret this, but it has been too long without contact and the inactivity on her bank records is worrying...I will open a case - and you will be the first to know if we find _anything_...but check in with me - _I don't want two of my detectives AWOL_ ," Cragen said.

 _Elliot had quickly made arrangements with his ex wife - who had been less than impressed about his sudden need to cancel his weekend with the kids. It didn't take long for Kathy to feel concerned however - Olivia had always supported Elliot, and while the intensity and closeness of their partnership had bothered her on many levels over the years, she wished Olivia no harm, and did feel somewhat concerned herself. She also knew how hard it was hitting Elliot - she prayed that Olivia was OK - Elliot clearly was very worried and he would never be able to rest until he had found her._

Once he had got off the phone with his ex wife, satisfied that she would explain his absence to their children, he wasted no time in packing and heading out to the airport again. It seemed like an impossible task - to start with no leads, but he knew that eventually he would get lucky - Fin and Munch would keep working at their end, and if any leads did turn up, he knew they would waste no time in telling him. They all wanted her home - they wanted her to be safe. This time he made himself a promise - he would not go back without her.

Before long, Elliot once again stepped out of the airport, this time his expectation and hope of finding her quickly had diminished rapidly, but he was determined. He knew she had started her journey from that point, and wherever she had gone - he would find her.

 **I promise more Olivia scenes soon - it'll be very EO focused as it moves along.**


	3. Chapter 3

**2 WEEKS LATER**

Olivia sat in the bar, not entirely sure why she had taken her cell phone out with her - having barely looked at it since switching it off six weeks previously. Today though, she had put in her pocket and brought it with her, having noticed the same phone charger in the office and plugged it in. She hadn't switched it on - but she could see the orange light through the open office door behind the bar indicating that the battery was charging. She dreaded the thought of switching it on - of how many messages she would have - of hearing how angry or how worried her friends were.

She stared hard at the blinking orange light on her cell phone as it charged, wondering why she had felt so compelled to charge it. Concentrating on the pulsing glow of the light, she didn't even notice the barman approach.

His voice startled her momentarily, "You OK?"

"Um...yes, sorry Sam, I was miles away. Look thanks for charging my phone...and for the work," Olivia said.

"No problem, it's hard to find reliable people out here, it's a quiet route, but there's just that bit too much work on the weekends. You sure you don't want to stick around for longer? I know the pay's not great, and the room is pretty basic...actually that doesn't sound appealing at all…" he said with a laugh.

Olivia gave a small smile, "I'm heading off tomorrow, sorry - as tempting as that offer sounds."

Passing her a beer, he turned and went back into his office. Olivia sat at the bar as she sipped her beer slowly. She gradually picked at the label from her bottle, letting the pieces fall in a small pile in front of her. Glancing outside she soon noticed that the light was beginning to fade - and turning back to her bottle, she realised that she had been sitting there for quite some time, and barely touched her drink as usual.

"Here you go, it's charged... _wow._..you have a _lot_ of text messages…." came the voice in front of her.

Olivia looked up sharply at his words, taking her phone into her hands as he passed it to her.

"When did you switch it on?" Olivia asked, a slight panic rising into her voice.

"I'm sorry...I just wanted to check if it was charged so I could plug mine in…"

"No, it's OK.. _it's just_ …" she paused, "don't worry about it."

Olivia quickly stood up and walked outside - the fading daylight was rapidly being replaced by the dimmer lighting of the bar but the brightness from her phone's display seemed almost blinding. She looked at the display on her phone and felt anxiety bubbling up inside her as she took in the information. Her finger hovered at the power button, but she felt frozen as she looked at the display.

 _-32 text messages._

The voicemail icon was also showing, and she was glad that she couldn't tell how many voicemails she had...or who they were from without unlocking her screen. She closed her eyes and blinked away fresh tears as she put the phone in her pocket, leaving it turned on this time.

 _Elliot was headed north when he got the phone call from Fin - he didn't know if he was going in the right direction, but he had to go somewhere - he intended to forget subtlety, because he wasn't going to tread lightly anymore - he had called too many hospitals, and ran her DNA too many times to consider approaching this tentatively anymore. If she was here he was going to find her, even if he had to show her photo to every person in the state._

Fin had told him that they had a signal from her phone and it so happened that Elliot was heading in the right direction - although he had quite some distance to cover yet. Fin had tried calling but she was not picking up. Elliot made a decision to keep heading in the direction of the signal, knowing that Fin would keep trying.

His heart leapt with hope at thought that he might be getting closer to her, it was a straight drive to the area that her phone had broadcast a signal from and he knew that he had a good chance of making it in the next two hours. He put the coordinates in the hire car's navigation system and followed the route, not feeling at all tired despite the rapidly darkening sky. Having spent two weeks on the road, he was getting used to long drives at that point.

Olivia walked until she felt relatively composed once more before going back to her car and sitting inside. She sat on the back seat, feeling a chill in the air as she stared out of the window. It was dark now and her phone had been switched on for over thirty minutes. She pulled it out of her pocket and placed it on the seat next to her, bringing her legs up under her and resting back against the car door as she stared at it.

The phone buzzed again as the display lit up. She glanced, noticing the call was from Fin - for the third time in the thirty minutes that her phone had been on.

This time when the buzzing stopped and the call diverted to voicemail she picked up the phone, took a deep breath - and made a call to Elliot.

The phone felt hot in her hand as she held it against her ear, with each ring punctuating the silence in her car. Her heart raced as she listened to the ringing sound, not knowing what kind of reaction to expect from him.

Elliot pulled over to the side of the road as soon as he heard his phone ringing but it wasn't until he switched off the engine and he looked at the display, that he realised who was calling him. He picked it up, a mixture of anxiety and hope suddenly coursing through him.

 _"Olivia_?" he said, his voice thick with emotion.

"Elliot," she simply replied shakily.

"Are you OK?" when met with silence he did his best to stay composed, "Liv, talk to me..."

"I'm OK..." she replied the tears she thought she had under control springing up suddenly. "Its good to hear your voice.."

"You don't know how happy I am to hear from you…..I want you to tell me where you are Liv," he said, testing the waters.

"Thats not important, but I'm fine."

Elliot sighed in annoyance, he was not going to let her be so dismissive.

"Really Liv? Because taking off right after a hostage is killed right in front of you and cutting off communication for six damn weeks _doesn't_ sound like fine to me."

Olivia blinked back her tears, anxiety rising fast as she instantly regretted making the call. She had no plan as to what she was going to say - she just had to hear his voice…

"El, I'm sorry...look... _I can't do this_ …. I'm gonna go.."

"No, Olivia - don't you dare hang up on me," he began angrily, but then he took a deep breath and lowered his voice, keeping his emotions in check, "just stay on the line Liv, OK?"

Olivia ended the call and threw her phone to the floor of the car.

"Damn it Olivia!" he said, as he re-dialled her number.

He waited impatiently as it rang, but it soon went to voicemail, Elliot ended the call - if she hadn't returned his calls for the last six weeks, he wasn't going to waste time leaving another message. He slammed his phone on to the dashboard in frustration, then cursed as he noticed a small crack on the screen. He checked that the phone was working before leaving it on the dashboard, where could reach it easily if she called back. He wanted to give her a chance to tell him where she was - it would be much better for both of them than just turning up having tracked her signal. If she wouldn't talk to him though, he felt he was left with no choice.

The road was quiet when almost two hours later, he reached the coordinates in good time. Given that the only buildings that Elliot could see were the gas station and bar, he felt hopeful, and in only minutes the gas station attendant had told him that Olivia worked at the bar across the road. Elliot felt that it was almost too easy, but after six weeks of going through the hell of not knowing where she was, maybe it was the break that he deserved.

He parked the car on the forecourt to the side of the bar and switched off the engine as he remained motionless. He wanted to get straight out of the car and go in, but he felt a gnawing sense of anxiety at the fact that he might see her as soon he walked in. He didn't know quite how he would react, or how he she would either. All he knew was that he was not going back without talking to her...without telling her how much he was hurting without her.

Moments later his heart thudded hard and fast in his chest as the door opened and Olivia came outside. She was walking in the direction of the only other car in the parking area when she looked up, noticing his car - and she froze.

Under the orange glow of the street lamp their eyes locked, and Elliot took a deep breath and got out of his car. He stood at the open door as he stared at her - she looked thinner, and her hair was longer. She hugged her arms about her at the sound of his car door slamming closed, and then he walked toward her.

Olivia wanted to look away - she didn't want to meet his eyes, but his gaze was almost hypnotic - she couldn't move, and she couldn't bring herself to look away.

As he moved closer, her breath quickened until he stopped directly in front of her. Her eyes filled with tears that she fought hard to contain, but her breathing grew quickly hitched and rapid and she knew that she was fast losing the battle.

"Olivia," he said, his voice low and gravelly as he stood directly in front of her.

She tried to speak, but words were lost to her. She wanted to throw her arms around him and pull him close to her, to tell him she never ever wanted to let him go, but any attempt to speak just failed her.

"Olivia…. _are you gonna say anything_?" he said.

"I don't know what to say," she replied quietly as she looked away, her eyes falling to the ground as her tears took over and her body began to shake as she sobbed.

Elliot felt angry - confused, hurt and a whole host of other emotions, but as soon as he heard her sobbing, any anger he felt dissipated rapidly. He placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her into his arms. Holding her tightly he closed his eyes and held her as she broke, letting him hold her tighter once her physical strength ebbed as fast her emotions.

" _Liv..."_ he said as he placed a kiss on her head, " _you've scared the hell out of me_."

"I'm...sorry," she told him as she fought to calm herself, "I didn't want...I didn't want to do that...I..should... _I should have_ …" she blinked a fresh flow of tears away as Elliot gently placed a hand on her head, stroking her hair as he waited for her to gain control of her emotions again.

"Let's go somewhere and talk Liv, we can't stay in a car park and have this conversation."

"OK...I'm staying here," she said, gesturing to the bar, "let's go back to my room…" she continued quietly, fleetingly making eye contact as she stepped out of his arms.

They walked the short distance to the bar side by side. Both battled with an urge to reach out to the other, yet they remained close but not quite close enough to touch. Olivia's heart raced and her mind whirled with all the possibilities on how this conversation was going to go. Had she known Elliot was going to turn up she could have prepared herself, but this way, she was woefully unprepared.

Heading through the bar she nodded to the bar tender, "this is my friend Elliot - he um...came to see me," she said her voice shaking.

"Everything OK, Olivia?" asked Sam, watching them both warily.

"Yeah, we just need to talk," she said quietly.

"OK, well if you want a beer, you know where to go," he said as he began unpacking a crate of beers.

They exchanged no words as they walked to Olivia's room, and once inside she closed the door and sat down on her bed. Elliot glanced around, unsure of what to do given that the room was quite small and had no chairs. Deciding not to dwell on something so minor he took a seat on her bed, giving her a little room but sitting as close to her as he felt he should without invading her space too much.

Olivia looked up, meeting his eyes as she felt the bed shift under his weight as he joined her.

"El, what are you doing here?"

"I spent a week searching for you when you left, but I got nowhere. I couldn't take it any more - not knowing if you were OK. So I left and I made a decision - I wasn't gonna give up till I found you this time."

" _How_ did you find me?"

"Look Liv, we can talk about that later, it's not important. What's important is if you're OK...I couldn't rest until I found you...until I could speak to you again... _see you again_."

"I'm sorry. I just... _I had to leave_...I didn't know how to keep going any more," she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she successfully won the battle against her tears this time.

"I still see her now - the moment of her death - _the moment her life stopped_. I should have done more El...I just can't do it anymore. I honestly don't know what I have left," she paused, "because my job...it's... _it was...my life_." she whispered.

"Liv...do you know why this is worse than anything else we've been through?"

"Why?"

"Its worse Liv," he said as he turned, moving closer to her, "because you closed yourself off and you're going through it alone."

His hand moved up to her face and he hesitated fleetingly before placing a hand on her cheek, his thumb stroking her skin lightly.

Olivia felt a shiver go through her at his touch. The feel of his hand, warm against her cheek, filled her with warmth that she hadn't felt in weeks. She turned to face him fully, moving her hand and sliding it over his. They looked into each others eyes but their words remained unspoken.

Then she closed her eyes, leaning her face into his touch as her hand gently squeezed his. "I missed you Elliot," she whispered.

Elliot leaned forward, moving his other hand to her shoulder and resting it lightly there. Olivia raised her hand and wiped away a stray tear which was betraying her hard fought battle and falling easily.

"Have you been... _OK_? You've lost weight…are you eating?" he said, treading more carefully with the conversation now that he could see how much pain she was in.

"El," she began, with a slight smile, "I think if I hadn't eaten anything I would be in the hospital by now.."

Elliot relaxed slightly, sitting back a little as his hand left her shoulder - the fact that she was able to relax even just a little bit, and certainly enough to make a joke, made him feel considerably relieved.

"Is this where you've been staying? ….Why didn't you call me?" he said quietly.

"I haven't been here long, I was leaving tomorrow..." she began.

Elliot dropped his hand from her cheek and ran it lightly up and down her upper arm. She felt a rush of emotion at his touch, but fought the urge to just move back into his arms.

They both remained silent, their hearts still racing, as Elliot's hand lightly caressed her arm. He felt that he just needed physical contact with her - he just needed to reassure himself that she was actually there, sitting right next to him. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly before his words pierced the silence.

 _"Come home with me Olivia_."

Olivia looked away at his words.

"Im not coming back Elliot," she said with resolution, "I'm done."

Elliot sighed, frustrated, as he dropped his hand away from her and stood. He moved to stand in front of the window, staring outside, his hands on his hips as he tried to work out what to do.

Turning, he ran one hand across the back of his neck as he looked at her.

"Olivia. I have spent six weeks.. _of hell_. Not knowing if you were dead or alive - all you had to do was call! You needed me - I know you hate that you need anyone, but you do - and what the hell is wrong with that? _We need each other_ and cutting yourself off is only hurting us both."

"El...I don't know how to deal with this - I just need to...keep going until I figure out where I can fit...where I can belong - because I don't know any more. I'm struggling to hold myself together here. I'm sorry - I can't do what you came here for - _I can't come back_."

Elliot paused, watching her, "OK then, don't come back, but _I'm not going back without you._ You leave here tomorrow - then I'm going with you," Elliot said determinedly.

"Come _with me_? Elliot I'm too lost and...just too messed up. You don't wanna go anywhere with me. What about your kids?"

"Kathy understands, she knows I wont be around right now.."

"Elliot...you have a job, a life - a family..."

"So do you! Olivia...if you're not coming home, then wherever it is you feel you need to go, I'm going with you."

Olivia sighed and turned her gaze to the floor, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Why?" she whispered.

"Why?" Elliot replied, feeling confused. "Olivia…you have to ask?"

He watched her as she remained silent, waiting for him to continue. Realising that she was leaving the direction of this conversation entirely up to him he decided to take a risk.

"If you're in pain right now Liv, then I am not leaving your side…" he paused, ensuring that he had her full attention, and that she was taking in his words.

" _I love you Liv_ , and it's been absolute hell not knowing if you were OK...do you understand why I am not gonna just walk away from you after spending weeks doing nothing but searching for you?"

"El…" she began, but found herself lost for words.

"I know you Liv... _so well._ I know you in ways nobody else does, and I hope nobody else ever will... I love you for the amazing woman that you are...and I _know_..." he paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, "I know that you love me too.."

"You do, huh?" Olivia said, her voice breaking as her eyes filled with tears, despite the slight smile she couldn't stop from forming, "that's pretty presumptuous of you El."

Elliot sat back down on the bed next to her, feeling a huge relief at her reaction.

"So….yeah Liv, i'm not letting you walk away from everything and everyone... _from us_ , and deal with this pain alone, because you don't have to," he said with sincerity.

"El...you're really going to just come with me - when I don't even have a plan?" she asked incredulously.

"That's the plan," he smiled.

"OK…" she said taking a breath, as she stood, spinning around to face him as her heart thudded fast and hard in her chest, "you're right, you know?"

"About what Liv?" he asked.

Olivia had never felt more nervous than she did at that moment - _until she met his eyes_. It was so clear to see that he loved her - and her anxiety melted quickly away as she found herself able to speak the words that he desperately needed to hear:

" _You do know me better than anyone else,"_ she smiled and took a shaky breath as she noticed his eyes soften under her gaze, " _I love you too."_

 **Is she gonna let him go with her? Will she let him help her?**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Elliot wasted no more time as he stood up and took her in his arms, his lips finding hers as he kissed her with a tenderness that she found breathtaking. Their kiss instinctively deepened as they held each other - their hands caressing and exploring each other in a way which seemed almost forbidden.

Breaking away from their kiss, but remaining in each others arms, neither could help smiling.

"I've wanted to do that for so long Liv," he said

"You're not the only one El," laughed Olivia.

The sound of her laugh and the way her face lit up gave Elliot hope - hope that she would get through this, but also hope for them. He had been solely focused on finding her and not letting her go without knowing how he felt, but he hadn't dreamed that she would open up enough to tell him she felt the same.

"Personally Liv, I could just stay here and do that all day," Elliot joked.

Olivia smiled as she looked at him - the last thing she had thought she would be doing when she left the bar was kissing Elliot Stabler and telling him she loved him...or hearing that he loved her.

"Anywhere you wanna go baby, we'll go there OK?" he said as his hand dropped to hers, their fingers instantly intertwining.

Olivia smiled warmly at the use of the endearment. Elliot noticed her reaction and leaned forward placing a soft kiss on her lips.

" _I'll go anywhere with you Liv_ ," he whispered.

It didn't take Olivia at all long to get ready to leave, given that she had so little with her. Then she sat still on the bed, her back against the headboard, turning her body slightly toward Elliot as he sat on the bed next to her, closing her eyes as he placed a gentle kiss on her head.

"I'm glad you're here El," she whispered, as she shifted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

He instinctively put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. They were utterly exhausted, and both quickly fell asleep.

The morning came quickly, and they both woke as soon as the light broke through the thin curtains. They left in separate cars, Olivia driving behind Elliot until they reached the first location that he could drop off his hire car. He felt a big sense of relief once he had got that out of the way and they were finally in the same car.

They had been driving for just a few minutes before Elliot turned to look at her.

"Sam seems like a decent guy..." Elliot began.

"Yeah - he's OK..." Olivia replied, wondering where Elliot was going with this.

"So you stayed there for two weeks?"

"Yeah...working for tips in a place that quiet isn't great, but I got paid with food, and a free room. Big improvement..."

"Big improvement over what?" Elliot asked, watching her quizzically.

"Umm...well, I mainly slept in the car before that," Olivia said.

" _Liv_...you really didn't want to be found did you?" said Elliot.

Olivia glanced briefly at him before focusing her eyes on the road.

"I just wanted to disappear El," she whispered, "I didn't think about much else at all... _all I feel is lost."_

Elliot reached across and took her hand in his, his thumb lightly tracing the back of her hand as they drove in silence for a while.

Eventually Elliot broke the silence, aware that he hadn't communicated to the squad with the exception of a brief text message several hours previously.

"Why Arizona?" he asked.

"It was the first flight out - I just took it...how did you know to come here, El?

"Well..um..I _am_ a detective..." Elliot said, attempting to change the subject now.

"So am I, and I worked damn hard to cover my tracks..." Olivia replied, a hint of suspicion on her voice.

"So you bought this car?" Elliot asked, abruptly taking the conversation into a different direction.

Olivia kept her eyes on the road ahead, although it was empty for some considerable distance.

"Yes, It only cost two hundred dollars though so if it breaks down, dont be too surprised," Olivia said with a hint of a smile.

"I'll keep that in mind," Elliot said, pausing as he pondered his next words.

" _Liv_...I gotta call Cragen..."

" _OK_ …" Olivia said with uncertainty.

"He'll probably want to speak to you... _I mean everyone does_...but...how can I put this…"

Olivia felt a sense of unease, and quickly pulled the car over to the side of the road and switched off the engine as she turned to look at him, confused, "How can you put _what_?"

"We opened an case... _you knew we'd try to find you, Liv_...but after a while...well, I convinced Cragen to open a missing persons investigation."

Elliot braced himself, waiting for her reaction.

" _You did what?"_ she said, her eyes wide.

"Cragen wouldn't listen to me at first - I kept under the radar running checks...but as Munch said...nothing we do is really under the radar...so yeah...Cragen wasn't too impressed with that - but he eventually agreed."

"Elliot…" she began, momentarily closing her eyes as she took a breath and composed herself, "what kind of checks?"

"Well...umm...financials, phone records...DNA, prints…"

"Elliot! You thought no one would notice all that? And you didn't think that maybe you were being seriously intrusive?"

" _Intrusive_? Olivia...why do you think I ran a DNA search? I ran it for the same reasons I called hospitals...Christ Olivia, you have _no_ idea what the hell this has been like!"

"Elliot..." she said, her tone softening at his words, "If I knew you were calling hospitals...God El, I would have called you. I wouldn't have knowingly put you through that kind of worry," she sighed.

"Cragen eventually caved when he was unable to reach you, after I showed him the inactivity on your financials...but it took some convincing after he had made it very clear that I had no legitimate reason to be looking into it in the first place."

Olivia sighed, resting her head back against the cushioned head rest. "I took vacation time El, if I hadn't turned up to work OK...but..."

"Olivia, _don't_ trivialise this - you took off after a shooting, you cut off all contact, you didn't even go back to your apartment. You've not exactly been taking a vacation - you've been falling, and trying your damndest to prevent me from helping you. We're _partners,_ Olivia. We're.. _.more than that_...if one of us is falling, the other one is there to catch them."

Olivia reached over and this time she was the one to take hold of his hand. She couldn't find the right words and so she simply took his hand, and felt relief and comfort when he laced his fingers through hers.

"You telling me if this was the other way round you wouldn't have done the same? Would you just let me walk away?" he continued.

"No," she whispered, "you know that El."

They remained silent as they both looked out through the windscreen into the distance. They had passed no cars on the road so far and the long road stretched out far ahead of them.

"Let's get this over with El, we need to clear this mess up so they can close this," Olivia paused, "can you make the call?"

"Yeah, but you're gonna have to talk to him too Liv."

"Ok," she sighed, not looking forward to the conversation she needed to have.

Olivia focused on the road which stretched ahead of them as Elliot began to talk, trying not to focus on the side of the conversation she could hear, but it was an impossible task given the confined space.

It was only moments before Elliot held the phone out to her.

"Cap wants to talk to you."

Olivia took a deep breath and took the phone.

'Hey captain.'

' _Olivia_ , are you OK?' he said, the relief unmistakable in his voice.

'Yes, I'm fine. Well...apart from being mortified that you have all been investigating me...'

'You fell completely off the radar and cut off any means of communicating with you. I did not approve of what Elliot was doing, but he raised enough concerns that I couldn't ignore it.'

Olivia sighed, taking in his words.

'Liv... _.look_ , we've all been extremely worried about your well being. There are a lot of people here that have been very concerned. I can't say I will feel much better until I see you.'

'Captain...I'm not coming back.'

"Liv, pass me the phone," Elliot said flatly.

Olivia sighed and handed him the cell phone.

'I'm staying with Olivia, she needs support right now and being on her own like this isn't doing her any good. _Im not coming back without her_ \- she knows that. I know the last thing you need it two of us taking time off...'

'Do what you need to Elliot, _just take care of her_. Has she been looking after herself - is she OK?' Cragen asked.

'She will be, _I'll make sure of it.'_ Elliot said.

'OK - but I want both of you staying in contact. Will Olivia be OK with that?'

"Liv? You gotta leave your phone on, OK?" he said, turning to her.

Olivia nodded and took the phone back from Elliot.

'Tell Munch and Fin I will speak to them soon OK?' she said.

'I will, they will be very happy to hear from you. _Be contactable_ from now on Liv,' Cragen said.

'I will...but you're closing this case?'

'Now I've spoken to you, _yes_... You left me with no choice, Olivia.'

Olivia sighed, 'I realise that...I just didn't expect Elliot would convince you to open an investigation...'

'It was the right thing to do Olivia - I was... _I still am_ concerned about you.' Cragen said sincerely.

Olivia let out a slow, controlled breath, "I'm fine, really."

'Well I feel happier now Elliot is with you, but you need to communicate witht he people who care about you,'

' _I will_ ," she replied quietly.

'Talk to me again soon, and take it easy...and Olivia.. _it's good to hear your voice_.'

As Cragen hung up he wasted no time in calling Munch and Fin into his office.

"Elliot found her. She isn't planning on coming back...but Elliot won't leave without her so lets just give her some more time."

"She's doing OK?" Fin asked.

"Hard to tell, but Elliot's with her and we have contact now, that's a huge step in the right direction," Cragen said.

"So Stabler's staying out there with her? Damn, our case loads just got heavier," said Fin, the relief in his voice unmistakable.

Munch folded his arms and looked at them both,"Hmm, I was just thinking..."

"Munch?" Cragen said.

"So, Benson disappears? Stabler goes to find her and he doesn't come back either? Lets not send anyone else up there given that track record...you know Arizona has one of the highest rates of missing persons in the country. There was the high profile case in 1975 of Travis Walton, claiming to be abducted by aliens in Arizona - some claim it to be a hoax, but there have been a lot of reported sightings of unexplained lights and similar phenomena, around Phoenix especially. Of course it's far easier if the general population believe that alien activity is taking place - it diverts from the real cause - secret government bases are well known to exist in Arizona…"

As Fin rolled his eyes and headed out of the office with Munch, whose commentary continued even once back at their desks, Cragen gave a smile. They would be happier if Olivia came home, but knowing that Elliot was with her now was a huge relief.

He would sleep far better tonight knowing that Olivia was not alone.

 **When Elliot asked Liv if she would do the same - not let him walk away...she was being honest. Best let me be happy and live in my season 1-12 EO dreamland where I pretend El never left ;-)**

 **Now Olivia has Elliot by her side can he convince her to come home? Now they have both been honest about their feelings, will their relationship grow ? Will she let him in? :-)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everyone who is reading :-)**

Olivia opened the motel room door almost as soon as he had knocked. Elliot smiled at her warmly, stepping inside and closing the door.

"There's a place to eat right around the corner...ready to go?" he said.

"Is what I'm wearing OK? I didn't bring anything with me so just bought a couple of outfits in a store - I have a total of three things to wear. I don't exactly have anything suitable for dinner..." she said with an obvious air of discomfort.

Elliot looked at her briefly, his eyes taking in her tight jeans, and black top which clung to her attractively. She had certainly lost weight, but she was still shapely in all the right places. Her hair fell to her shoulders in waves, and she wore a subtle hint of makeup. She looked natural _and_ beautiful to Elliot.

Sensing her discomfort at his lack of response he realised he needed to speak, "You look great Liv...really."

"I don't know how you've managed with three sets of clothes for this long though - tell you what, how about we take you shopping tomorrow? If we're gonna be on the road for a bit you really need more..."

Olivia looked at him incredulously, "You offering to take me clothes shopping, El?"

"Yeah I am, Liv," he smiled.

Olivia shook her head and smiled back at him before heading out of the door.

It was becoming busy in the bar, and Olivia and Elliot went straight to the large restaurant area where food was being served. They sat in a booth, proffering them a certain amount of privacy, and with the soft covering on the cushioned seats, Olivia felt considerably more comfortable than she had in a while.

Elliot looked across the table at her, "You OK?"

Olivia looked back at him, "This must be the most people I've been around since I left. Sam's bar never got this busy,"

"You feel uncomfortable? We can go somewhere else, Liv."

"No, it's fine...it's nice," Olivia said with a slight smile.

They soon ordered their food, and both had a drink in front of them, the restaurant was nearly half full by this point, and they had said little to each other. Olivia braced herself for a barrage of questions about what she had been doing, and was surprised when Elliot hadn't begun to ask her about it.

She glanced at him, her eyes meeting his, "Elliot...I don't know what to say right now…"

"Liv, listen - it's OK. I want you to talk to me, I want you to be honest and open, and tell me what you were thinking when you left, and what you've been doing for the past six weeks...but I know this is hard. Why don't we just have dinner together - tonight let's just not get into it."

"I think I can do that," Olivia said, with a sigh of relief.

They both relaxed over dinner, Elliot relaying news of his children and updating her on how their friends were doing. He felt considerably reassured to see Olivia visibly relaxing as they talked. He ensured that he only told her the lighter side of the past few weeks, not venturing into the concern they had all held for her and the resulting investigation. He was determined to keep to his word and not discuss it - but tomorrow he had every intention of getting her talking.

As the evening had gone on, the background music had eventually been turned up, despite the gradually decreasing numbers of patrons. Elliot got to his feet and held out his hand to Olivia, who looked at him bemused.

"You asking me to dance?" she said, shaking her head.

"Yeah, come on," he said, "I wanna dance with you….come on Liv,"

Olivia sighed and reluctantly took his hand, which he gripped firmly as he led her to a space away from the table and pulled her into his arms.

"Elliot," Olivia laughed, feeling self conscious, "this isnt a dance floor…"

"Well - I don't see anyone looking at us Liv, just relax," he said with a smile, as he slipped his arms around her. He sighed as her head rested against his shoulder and her arms slid up his sides and around his back. It felt perfect - holding Olivia so close to him, and feeling her do the same. He leant down and placed a soft kiss on her head and smiled; he wondered why it had taken them so many years to do this when they felt so right together.

Olivia pulled back a little as she slid one hand around the back of his neck and pulled him closer to her. He quickly got the hint and leant in, capturing her lips with his as she slid her other arm down, finding his hand and lacing her fingers through his.

Elliot ran one hand down across her hip as their kiss deepened. The feel of her body, pressed tightly against his felt so right - their tongues exploring and tasting was an intoxicating sensation.

"Elliot," she breathed, as she broke their kiss, "we should go, let's go back to my room," she paused, realising how forward she had sounded, before adding, "...I mean...there's coffee - I could make coffee."

Elliot chuckled as she stumbled over her words - he had never seen this side of her before, but he resisted the urge to tease her about it as he reached out and ran his hand through her hair.

"Let's go Liv," he smiled.

Back in the hotel room, Elliot sat on the bed, watching as Olivia made two mugs of instant coffee. In truth he didn't want a coffee that late at night, and he doubted she did either, but he could sense her slight nervous edge, and he knew she was just occupying herself. This was new for both of them, and now that they were alone in her room, he figured she wasn't sure what to do next.

He sighed and then with a slight smile he stood up, moving over to her as she placed two freshly made coffee mugs on to the table.

"Come here Liv," he said softly.

Olivia felt a warmth spread throughout her at his words. She wasn't used to hearing him speak tenderly to her and it was a whole side of him that just made her love him even more.

She walked over to him, her heart beginning to thud heavily as she stopped and looked at him.

He reached out to pulled her into an embrace, feeling her relax immediately. He stroked her hair as he spoke to her:

"Liv...it's OK to say no...I booked two rooms for us...but could I stay with you tonight?"

He paused, letting her process his words before continuing, " _I just wanna hold you_ \- I started to think I would never see you again...last night we kind fell asleep sitting up - I just wanna sleep all night with you in my arms," he pulled back a little to look at her, "is that OK?"

Olivia gave him a warm smile, but he felt concerned as tears pooled in her eyes.

"What's wrong baby? Talk to me," he said softly.

"I'm sorry...I wasn't thinking straight El.. _.I love you_ \- I wouldn't hurt you, that's the last thing I wanted to do..." she began but was silenced by a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Liv, it's OK... _we're OK_ , and we are gonna get through this. Don't over think anything, please - it's just you and me OK?"

"OK," Olivia whispered, " _just you and me_."

She took a deep breath and returned to his embrace.

" _Stay, El_."

The dimmed lights from the lamps around the room cast a soft glow as Olivia lay under the covers feeling a strange mix of sensations. She felt significantly more comfortable physically than she had in weeks - the bed was large, and the room afforded a certain luxury. It was not a high end hotel by any means, but it was a far cry from the small room at the bar and certainly a significant step up from the back seat of her car. She leant her head back against the soft pillows and tried to relax - her eyes focusing on the bathroom door as she listened to the sound of the tap running. She knew that Elliot would be coming out soon….and getting into bed with her.

Her mind was racing - she knew he had been sincere in his words - he didn't expect anything from her, he just wanted to hold her. Suddenly though, she was focused on how that was going to work - it wasn't something that they had done before - she had no idea what Elliot would actually wear to bed and she began to feel apprehensive.

Closing her eyes, she took a slow, deep breath and admonished herself for being ridiculous. She was about to share a bed with him...he was obviously going to be in some kind of state of undress, especially as he had been in the bathroom taking a shower... _she was about to share a bed with him._

She opened her eyes, turning her head at the sound of the bathroom door opening, wondering for the the third time in the past twenty minutes whether she had made the right choice in her own attire. Elliot emerged and gave her a smile, which she returned as she rolled on to her side and looked at him.

She propped herself up on her elbow as she looked at him - noticing that he had only boxer shorts and a t shirt on.

"So how do we do this, El?"

"How do we do this?" Elliot asked, slightly amused, "Liv, you have been lying there _really_ overthinking this haven't you?"

Olivia smiled awkwardly, "You've gotta admit this is new... _for us_."

Elliot walked over to the bed and climbed straight in, pulling his T shirt off as he slipped under the covers and shifted over closer to her. He turned to face her, as she rested her head back down on the pillow, still facing him.

"Liv," he began quietly, "it's simple, it really is. We are two people who love each other, and we are just gonna lay here and hold each other," he said as he reached over and took her hand.

Olivia squeezed his hand, the feel of his touch relaxing her.

"I honestly thought I might not see you again Liv - it was tearing me apart.."

"You said we didn't have to talk about it tonight El…" she said her eyes drifting down toward their joined hands.

"And I mean that Liv, you don't... _tonight_ , but I just need you to know," he said the emotion impossible to hide, "that _I don't want you to be here_ \- I want you to come home, _with me_ , and go back to your life; but if you can't do that - then there's nowhere else I want to be than where I am right now."

He closed the distance between them and kissed her, their bodies instinctively moulding together. Olivia sighed as she ran her hand down between them, across his chest, until it rested on his hip. Touching him, her hands on his bare chest, was an intimacy forbidden to them until then - a part of her wanted to take it further - it felt right and it felt natural, but she needed time to process the situation. A day before she had been battling with the concept of even calling him on the phone and now she was lying in bed with him, both in their underwear, although Olivia was slightly more covered, having worn a t shirt. She wanted to make love to him; to know what it was like to be loved by him so intimately, but she was also scared on a whole other level...

This was Elliot - her partner and her best friend, if she crossed that line they could never go back… and on another level the fact that she felt so safe in his arms scared her. He wanted to help her - he knew she wasn't coping, but she was scared of feeling better with him here - scared of becoming dependent on him.

She shuffled closer, relaxing quickly into their newfound intimacy; the feel of his light caress on her cheek, the warmth from his body as her bare legs pressed against his - Olivia felt awash with sensations she had never felt with Elliot before.

As he shifted position to put his arm around her, she moved slightly, putting her head on his chest. She couldn't deny how loved she felt, how loved he had made her feel in just the past 24 hours. She wanted that - but it bothered her that she did.

Elliot knew she would be analysing the situation and he eased his head up, turning to place a kiss on her head before dropping back down to the pillow, hugging her close to him.

" _It's simple Liv,"_ he whispered, " _I love you sweetheart."_

Elliot stayed awake until he heard her breath slow into a steady even rhythm and knew she had fallen asleep. He could not rest until she had fallen asleep - he could not let her stay awake alone with her thoughts.

With another soft kiss on her head, he soon fell asleep, with Olivia in his arms.


	6. Chapter 6

Elliot awoke to the smell of coffee - stretching he reached out and frowned, noticing that Olivia was no longer in bed with him. He sat up and climbed out of bed, picking up the coffee cup. Realising that it was almost cold, he felt a pang of concern that Olivia must have left the room some time ago.

After quickly glancing in the bathroom, he pulled on his clothes from the night before, grabbed the room key, and headed out.

He was struck with the heat as soon as he left the room - which didn't bode well for the rest of the day if Olivia intended to drive for any considerable distance, because the car was old and the air conditioning was not working well. He sighed, wishing she had chosen a cooler climate - the Arizona heat was not something that made long car journeys any easier.

It took Elliot around ten minutes to locate Olivia, who was sitting at a table in the small cafe next to the motel. He sighed, feeling relieved, and wasted no time entering and then taking the seat opposite her.

"You should have woke me, what time is it?"

"Around ten - I haven't had that much sleep in a long time," she said.

"How long have you been up?"

"An hour or so, I just wanted to take a walk before the heat picks up,"

Looking up, she frowned at the concerned look he bore.

"El, what is it?"

"You took a walk for an _hour_? Dont you think I would have been worried if I had woken up before this and not known where you were?"

Olivia sighed, "El, I need some time alone - it doesn't mean I'm not going to come back. Why can't you trust me?"

" _I do trust you Liv_ , you know that, but you're going through something and I'm concerned about you."

"So you trust me, _but not really_ ," Olivia sighed, "great, Elliot."

"Olivia - taking off for an hour without telling me - you don't see why that would worry me?"

"Elliot - I liked lying with you last night - I slept so well, and it felt…" she looked away, hesitating slightly about voicing her admission, " _right_... and I want that...but I don't want to be..."

"You don't want to be what, Olivia?" Elliot said, the annoyance not lost on her.

"I am not going to tell you my every move - I left New York because...I couldn't breathe there anymore...I need you to trust me," she paused reaching across the table and placing her hand over his, " _I am not going to walk away from you El_."

Elliot squeezed her hand, and looked at her - he knew it was important that she could see he trusted her, but on some level he was scared that she would take off and leave.

"Look - we're an hour from a larger town - we can go there, you can pick up some more clothes and the basics that you need, then we can go somewhere…. _together_. First though...I really need you to talk to me."

Olivia looked far from appeased by the offer of clothes shopping if the condition came attached with a difficult conversation. She released her hand from his and sat back in her chair.

"Fine," she said, folding her arms, "you'd better order some coffee then."

With a pot of coffee soon in front of them, Elliot's eyes fell on Olivia. She was clearly uncomfortable with the concept of talking about how she was feeling, but he knew it was important.

Elliot cast a glance toward her coffee, a question forming on his lips.

"What's wrong?" she said, tensing.

"You didn't eat much last night - did you have breakfast?"

"I had some toast, I'm not starving myself, Elliot," she said, annoyed with his probing.

"I didn't suggest that, but Liv, you clearly aren't eating enough - you've lost weight. You just need to look after yourself a bit more. Particularly in this heat - it's hard going."

"I'll make sure I eat three times a day then - that OK? she said indignantly.

"Liv, I'm _not_ trying to piss you off - I just want to help you..."

 _"I know_ ," she said quietly.

"You must have spent some time thinking about what you're gonna do in all this time that you've been gone - you must have considered that you have to go home eventually…"

"Why? I turned my gun and badge in, and I can put my papers in without being there,"

"So you're going to throw your whole career away and then do what?" Elliot said, realising the harder edge to his voice, but knowing that Olivia wasn't going to talk unless he pushed her.

Olivia sighed and tensed, meeting his eyes, "I don't want to have this conversation, can we just drop it,"

"No! You can't just drop it - Olivia, you've scared the hell out of me and everyone else who cares about you, and you are _going_ to damn well have this conversation - you owe me that much!"

Olivia sat back in her chair and looked at him, she was clearly uncomfortable with being pushed to talk, and was growing rapidly irritated. Elliot could see that he had got to her with that statement though - he knew he had her then.

"Ok Elliot," she said defensively, "what is it you plan to do to _fix_ me, then?"

Elliot looked at her exasperated, "I don't have any _plan_ Liv, I'm not telling you how to fix this - you just need to work through what happened, and figure out what you're gonna do. You can't do this indefinitely, motels and gas are gonna eat into our money pretty fast, and sleeping in your car is not option any more with two of us - _and I'm not going anywhere._ "

Olivia sighed and looked at him, a hint of sadness in her eyes, "El, I told you before...you have a family and a job. How long are you really planning on staying with me?"

"What? Are you _seriously_ asking me that? I _told_ you I wasn't going back to New York without you Olivia, I am being honest with you!"

"El...you can't just stay with me...if I don't go back. You need to see your kids, you need to work...you can't be on vacation time indefinitely."

"Stop doing this Olivia - stop trying to push me away. I have barely slept since you left - _I love you and I am not leaving you._ You have to go back eventually - you have an apartment, friends...people who consider you family. You don't think you're being selfish to just disappear on the people who care about you, and not go back?"

Elliot regretted his words as soon as he had said them, he knew he had pushed her too far. He hadn't even meant it - he was just angry and exasperated.

She stood up abruptly, her chair scraping back against the hard stone floor.

" _Screw you Elliot_ ," she said quietly as she made no effort to hide her tears.

He sighed as he watched her storm past the table and shove the door open. He wanted badly to get up and follow her, but he knew she was way too pissed at him to listen to anything else he had to say to her right then.

He only left his chair when eventually she left his line of sight - getting up and throwing some change on the table he sighed in frustration, partly annoyed at himself for not handling the conversation very well, but also frustrated that he had not really achieved anything - his attempt to talk to her only resulting in upsetting her more...

He noticed her stop as she shoved the keycard into the motel room door. Her actions were too quick, laced with her anger, and she was only growing further annoyed when the red light of the door lock continually flashed at her.

"Damn it, _open_!" she said.

Elliot watched her for a moment, then walked over and placed his hands over hers, feeling a pang of guilt to find her hands shaking. He squeezed gently, hoping that his actions would reassure her.

" _I'm sorry Liv_ , that's _not_ how I planned that to go, I shouldn't have said it," he whispered as he moved closer behind her, placing a kiss on her cheek. His hands stilled on hers, as he felt her trembling under his touch.

"Let me," he said, as he took her shaking hands and guided her slowly, the keycard easing in and pulling out much more slowly. Olivia blinked back tears - the feel of his body so close to hers stilled her - her shaking began to ease, and as the green light appeared, Elliot pushed the door open, and stepped around her. Taking her hand, he led her inside.

As soon as the door was closed she faced him, the anger and hurt in her eyes striking him at once.

She stood in front of him, watching him warily, "Elliot...right now, I am not sure whether I want to slap you or kiss you...I'm angry, but I love you so damn much…. _do you know how confusing that is_?"

Elliot stepped forward and ran his fingertips lightly down the side of her face, cupping her chin as he stepped forward, "let me make it simple for you then," he said.

Olivia closed her eyes as he leaned in and kissed her - she responded immediately, sliding her arms up and pulling him closer as his tongue slid into her mouth.

Elliot slowly roamed his hands across her back, the feel of her body close against his was something he was beginning to crave. He needed her - he wanted to move her over to the bed, and lay down on top of her, touching, tasting, and exploring her in ways that he had only imagined before. He felt utterly torn...she was beyond upset with him just moments before, and but now she was relaxing into his embrace. He knew that taking things a step further when she was feeling so conflicted about everything was not the right time. He didn't want to go too fast and leave her regretting their relationship.

Olivia pulled away suddenly, stepping back. she took a deep breath and stared at him.

"How could you say that to me? I wasn't thinking about myself - I wasn't thinking about consequences or..or _anything_ ," she said, her voice trembling," all I felt was despondent - all I wanted to do was get away - get as far away as possible. I don't feel anything except... _incapable_...do you understand?"

Elliot stepped closer to her, "No I don't, so tell me."

"I let her down - she had been through hell, and her life shouldn't have ended like that - I was standing right in front of her - so close to her, and I thought I was going to get through to him - what happens in the next situation? I don't have faith in myself that I won't let the next victim down."

"We don't always win Liv... _I wish to God we did_ , but you know what? We do a hell of a lot of good. You've made a difference to so many victims - and you can help so many more…"

"I'm just...scared of letting another victim down, Elliot," she said quietly.

He pulled away and looked into her eyes, "Sit down Liv, you really gotta work this out, you know that, don't you?"

Olivia nodded and sat on the bed, their bodies separating but their hands remaining .

intertwined.

Elliot next to her, leaving just enough space that they could look at each other and talk comfortably. He fought the urge to kiss her - sitting on a bed, so close to her - all he wanted to do was hold her and touch her.

"Liv...let me suggest something, OK?"

She looked at him silently and nodded.

"Let's pick somewhere to stay - for two weeks...then we go back to New York...pick stuff up from your apartment, and go in and see Cragen, work something out where you can take more time while you think about things. You can see Munch and Fin - reassure Munch that you haven't been abducted by some covert government agency…"

Elliot felt considerably more positive as he noticed the smile that Olivia couldn't prevent forming.

"I should call him...who knows what he is making of this, I bet he thinks I'm on a mission for the CIA and you've joined my secret OP," she said, with a slight smile.

"Or you've been abducted by the CIA who brainwashed you so you could lure me into a trap," Elliot said looking quite serious.

Olivia laughed, and Elliot joined right in - it warmed him to see her look happy - her laugh was something that always made him feel that much brighter, even on his darkest days. He wanted so much to see her get that joy back inside her - that he had seen more often when they were off duty and spending time together outside of work. He loved seeing that side of her and wanted her to get that back again.

Still smiling, he let go of her hand and ran it through her hair slowly.

"You miss Munch?"

"Yeah, I mean he's nuts sometimes," Olivia laughed, "but yeah..he and Fin, they've been part of my life for so long.. _.yeah I do_ ," she said with a sad smile.

"Give them a call Liv," Elliot whispered.

"This your way of reminding me that I miss my friends?"

"Is it working?" he said with a slight smile.

Olivia sighed, " _Sort of_. Pass me the phone."

 **Will it help Liv to talk to Munch and Fin? Next chapter will be ready very soon.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sanctum will be updating over the next few days - thank you to everyone who is reading my stories. It's awesome to be able to share these stories with other Liv and El fans :-)**

Fin sat at the bar, a beer in his hand as he stared incredulously at his partner. He hadn't heard a word Munch had said since he had began his theories on the real reason why Arizona has such a high rate of unsolved missing persons cases.

Glancing back at him, making a half hearted attempt at picking up a thread of the conversation, he tried to pay attention.

"Which makes sense - think about it, what Liv was saying fits right in with many of the unexplained activity along the Devil's Highway. It goes without saying that there's an explanation for these things... _but its more sinister than you might think_.."

"She was joking, Munch!" Fin said, staring at him exasperated.

"Well, who knows what she has been _told_ to say..." Munch continued.

"You seriously believed her? She isn't involved in any weird government shit Munch, this is Olivia you're talking about!"

"Well, many people who go missing…"

"I'm calling her, I can't take this anymore!" Fin said, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

Olivia answered her phone and laughed. Elliot smiled at her as he listened to her side of the conversation.

-Really...for two hours Fin?

Olivia laughed again.

-Sorry about that...put him on, I'll try and convince him I'm not being controlled by a chip implanted in my head.

At the other end of the phone, Fin was secretly pleased to hear Olivia sounding happy. He had learned to tune out a lot of Munch's commentary but sometimes he couldn't help listening. He would never admit it, but he had found himself looking up some of what Munch had said over the years. He had found Munch insufferable since he had spoken to Olivia though, but was relieved that she was at a point where she could make a joke.

Munch was only partly joking - he knew that Olivia didn't need a heavy conversation and didn't object to playing along if it helped her. He did however, have some very interesting theories about the unexplained disappearances he had been accumulating in a file on his desk over the past few days. When she was on a more even keel, he decided that he would run these ideas past her.

-Munch, I am not anywhere near there, I promise you. I was joking, you're driving Fin mad!

When Olivia got off the phone, she laughed as she turned to Elliot who was leaning back against the table smiling at her.

"He's been driving Fin crazy for over two hours!" Olivia laughed.

"I bet, you _were_ pretty convincing Liv," smiled Elliot.

Olivia stood up and walked over to him sliding her hands across his and she inched up toward him, he leant down to meet her and she placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"Thank you," she said warmly.

He took one of her hands in his, the other reaching up to stroke her hair. Olivia was beginning to love the way it felt when he did that. His touch could be so tender and loving; a side of him that was making her fall all the more in love with him.

"What was going through your mind, Liv?" he asked softly.

Olivia sighed, "Nothing El - I wasn't trying to hurt you..."

"I know that baby, its OK" he said, raising her hand to his lips and placing a gentle kiss.

Olivia gave a small smile, "I wanted to call you that night - but...I just couldn't handle talking to anyone. I just wanted to get as far away. _..from myself_ , as possible. The longer I was away the harder it was to call - I felt too guilty for walking out on you, and too messed up...I didn't want you to see me... _crumbling_ like this, El."

"Why?" he whispered, "you're my partner, my best friend, my..."

"Your _what,_ El?" she whispered.

"Don't think there's a word that really sums up what you are to me...I've never felt this kind of connection with anyone..."

"Doesn't that... _scare you_?" Olivia whispered.

Elliot placed his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes with sincerity.

"No Olivia, it doesn't. I love you - just let it happen.. _.let us happen_."

The next week passed quickly.

Elliot had been discreetly keeping an eye on how much Olivia was eating and was relieved that she had started eating more regularly and while he was still somewhat worried about her, she was certainly happier.

He lay on their bed in the cabin. It was a quiet location, but not too isolated that they wouldn't have access to amenities and see other people. He knew Olivia needed that balance.

Looking up at the ceiling fan his thoughts drifted to the nights he now shared with her. Every night she lay in his arms, they had not taken their new found physical intimacy any further yet. He wanted to - in truth, each night it had become progressively more difficult now to allow his hands to roam more freely over her body. He needed her to see that he understood, though - she was just getting comfortable with the concept of needing somebody else without complicating it with her own doubts of why she needed him.

He wanted to wait until she was feeling much more comfortable and secure within herself before they took things to the next level.

Then he heard the door open in the next room and smiled, knowing that Olivia was back from the store. He realised that she had been gone for over an hour and thirty minutes and he hadn't felt the urge to follow her. The first day they had arrived at the cabin she had told him she was going to go out and pick up some take out from the town; a thirty minute drive. It had taken significant effort not to follow her - not totally convinced that it was a good idea for her to be on her own.

Olivia opened the door and smiled, "Hey El."

"Hey baby, how'd you survive the drive? The air conditioning is completely gone now."

"Well I did say it was a cheap car," she said as she went over and climbed on to the bed,

kneeling next to him.

"It's so much cooler in here - the car is sweltering."

Elliot instinctively eased himself up and put a hand on her hip. She smiled as she let him pull her down next to him, her body lying close against his.

Olivia slid her hand up, under the material of his thin t shirt, her hand roaming his chest. He responded by letting his hand wander from her hip, toward her ass. She twisted around slightly, making it easier for his hand to reach her ass and their bodies moulded closer together.

She raised her head and looked at him as she shifted further until her leg slipped in between his and grazed him.

"Liv," he whispered, as his hands pulled her body against him.

Olivia put her hands either side of him, her leg moving slowly between his as she leaned in and kissed him. Elliot sighed, taking her into his arms as he returned her kiss passionately.

Rolling her over on to her back their kiss deepened, as they explored each other.

"I love you Olivia," he said softly, "it feels so good being here with you."

Olivia looked at him, the want in her eyes unmistakable, as he ran his hand past her hip.

"El," she whispered. Uncertain of the right words, she let her actions speak her intention. Her hands roamed his body, sliding down further until her fingers reached his belt. Looking into each others eyes, they needed no words to know that they would cross that final boundary together.

As Elliot made love to her she felt absolutely wanted and desired. The depth of feeling they held for each other was undeniable.

They remained in each others arms, lying side by side, their bodies close, as they held each other. The air conditioning was finally cooling Olivia as they both fell asleep, contented.

Elliot awoke to the feel of Olivia lying close to him - her skin against his. Waking up with her after making love felt so different to the previous week of simply holding her. He turned to her and noticed that she was already awake. For a moment he felt a pang of anxiety, wondering if she regretted taking their relationship further - wondering if he should have given her a little more time.

Relief washed over him as he looked into her eyes. Propping herself up on her elbow she looked at him and smiled.

"I think we should definitely do that more often," she said with a laugh.

Elliot mirrored her pose and looked into her eyes - he saw a warmth within her that had been slowly returning over the past week.

"I think that can be arranged - personally, I don't want to get out of this bed with you for a second."

Olivia smiled and leaned in, placing a kiss on his lips.

"Well I'm afraid we have to."

"Why? We don't have to be any where?"

Olivia rolled away, smiling slightly at his groan of protest at their loss of contact as she climbed off the bed, pulling on her tank top and panties.

"I'm starving El," she laughed, "come on, let's get some breakfast."

Elliot reluctantly got out of bed and followed her into the kitchen, he watched her for a moment as she opened the doors of the unfamiliar cupboards, finding pots and utensils.

She turned to see him leaning against a counter smiling at her, "Are you just gonna stand there and watch me make breakfast?" she said playfully.

Elliot walked over to her and spun her around, pulling her back towards him, and placing a kiss on her neck.

"No, I thought I would do my best to distract you."

Olivia laughed as she playfully pushed him away.

His heart felt lighter, filled with hope that not only was she going to get past this, but the chance of a future, together, was looking so real.

 **I personally find it very hard to write a love scene that doesn't go into M territory!**

 **That was a bit fluffy, but I promise it does get a bit grittier. If you like M fics, have a look at Resistance, that goes way into M territory ;-)**

 **In the upcoming chapters - Munch gives Liv some information which takes her and Elliot into an interesting direction, and our favourite detectives unearth something which helps Liv make a realisation.**

 **If you want to join in with some role play, check out Natter. I am Oliviabenson - and Abby (NCIS)- we have a number of role players on there so please do come along and join in, whether SVU, NCIS, or another fandom. If you would like to play Elliot, Munch, Fin, Casey, or Ziva from NCIS please let me know as we may be able to hand some of those over.**


	8. Chapter 8

**This is set in the early part of season 9, but I thought I would slot it firmly in before Impulsive, episode three. Which would be a possible explanation for her hair being longer in that episode ;-)**

 **CHAPTER 8**

Elliot had gone with Olivia into town this time - and she hadn't complained about needing space. He resisted suggesting that he go with her up until that point - not wanting her to feel he was keeping an eye on her. She was so much more positive now, but he had a slight hesitation that she was growing comfortable with the situation they were in - and leaving might bring it all home to her.

He was enjoying the rarity of a vacation and taking it with Olivia was something he hadn't ever contemplated before. The last week had taken their relationship to a level he had only, admittedly, fantasised about before.

Making love to her, sleeping with her in his arms - the way they instinctively sat closer together - holding her hand - it was so far from how things had been for them both just two weeks beforehand when he was searching for her. He felt like he had suddenly come into an incredible stroke of luck:

 _The woman he loved, admired and had been such an important part of his life for so many years had returned his love. She had been nothing but open with him in the past week and now, he was seeing an affectionate, romantic side of her that he loved._

He went to get some coffee while she went to the store - but paused as he noticed her filling her shopping cart. Frowning, he walked back to her and watched her quizzically.

"Liv...what are you doing?" he asked

"Shopping?" she said, as she continued placing items in her cart.

Elliot sighed and then he took her hands in his, stopping her as she reached for a large box of cereal.

"Liv," he whispered, " _why_ are you buying all this food? We are leaving in four days...the flight is booked."

Olivia looked away, down into her overfull shopping cart.

" _Maybe we could take a few more days."_

Elliot squeezed her hands gently as he pulled her over to him and put his arms around her, placing a kiss on her head, "Olivia...you can't stay here. Come on baby, all I want you to do is come home, see everyone, talk to Cragen - work something out. If you don't want to come back to work right now, just _don't_ make a rash decision, you have options that can still leave the door open. We both know how important SVU is to you baby...I don't wanna push you - but I think maybe you need some kind of push to get you to realise where home is."

"OK," she sighed, "but you better help put some of this back then..."

"Sure," he said as he placed a quick kiss on her lips and then started to put some of the groceries back on the shelf.

Sitting on the couch that evening, their dinner eaten, they both leaned back on the couch, glancing at the TV. Elliot watched her as she looked at the on screen TV guide, not finding anything of interest.

Noticing his scrutinizing stare she frowned, "Elliot. What is it?"

"You feel OK?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I?" she replied, a hint of sarcasm just edging into her voice.

Elliot sighed, "You seemed OK last night after you called the precinct.."

"That's because I was ok... _I am_...I'm just slightly..dreading getting on the plane," she admitted honestly.

"Liv, _you can do this_ \- no-one is going to judge you, they are all just going to be happy to see you. Besides the length of time you were on the phone last night, I thought you were pretty relaxed about it,"

"Relaxed isn't a word I'd use, Elliot. I just feel like...I can't just walk out of my life and expect to walk back in again...and I'm not sure I even want to…"

"One day at a time Liv - you'll figure out what you need to do," he said as he reached across and squeezed her hand.

"Besides, I spent most of that conversation talking to Munch - he has been developing a big file of evidence he swears is related. Unsolved disappearances - a lot of them really close to where we are right now…"

Elliot shook his head in astonishment, "You were on the phone for over forty minutes last night - are you telling me you were discussing Munch's secret government base theory _for that long_?"

"I don't for a minute think it has anything to do with a concealed base. He's sending a copy of the file over - it'll be here tomorrow."

Elliot looked at her incredulously, "OK Liv, what's Munch got you so interested in?"

"Every year for the past four years, there have been two disappearances from the town and surrounding area. It's not a big place, so that's significant in itself... _but look_...there are distinct similarities with the people who are missing, and the timescale….same time of year every time...they haven't all been flagged up as connected but I think they all are."

"Why?"

"They're all women, within the same age range, and all disappeared in the day time - every single woman was last seen leaving work."

"Ok...but Liv, we have no jurisdiction here...Cragen won't like this - looking into it is one thing...investigating it is something else, you're not cleared for field work till you've seen Huang...and we are hardly equipped...you don't even have your shield."

 _"You do_...look let's take a look and if we have any leads we can talk to Cragen, ask him to contact the local police here. These are cold cases - I doubt they'd have a problem with us.. _well you_...taking a look, and I can 'unofficially' help. If we get Cragen to approve it, then we just keep the local police in the loop and call them out if we need to arrest."

"You've been thinking this through haven't you?"

"Come on El, just humour me, we have three days till the flight, lets just see what we can dig up...John is sending the files that we would need - so we don't need to gain access to anything at this end..."

"So you're thinking we can solve four years of unsolved missing persons cases in three days?"

Olivia smiled, "don't know till we try - but hey... _we're a pretty good team_."

Elliot smiled and ran his hand down her arm, stopping as he took her hand in his.

"I can't argue with that Liv," he said with a smile.

Elliot woke the next morning, and realised that he had slept late again. He had so little sleep while Olivia was missing, and now that she was in his arms he was sleeping more soundly than he had in years. He knew the same was true for her too - she fell asleep quickly in his arms - he gave a smile as his mind drifted to their now nightly love making, certain that it had something to do with how relaxed they were these days.

Stretching his arms above his head, he yawned before walking in the living room - where he stopped and blinked.

Olivia was standing in the centre of the room - the couch and coffee table pushed to the side. The floor was filled with paperwork. She had arranged them in orderly groups allowing enough space to walk between them.

He watched her for a moment, taking in her level of concentration as she stood in front of a large floor area covered with photographs. She wore only a tank top and leggings, and her now longer hair was loosely pulled back in a band. Finally noticing that she was no longer alone she turned around to face him.

"Hey - Munch's files got here,"

"Yeah...I can see that - _wow,_ Liv you've been busy," he said as he walked through the gap in the paperwork to meet her.

"These are the eight women who are missing - over to the right are the witness statements, behind you are their personal histories; workplaces, friends, family - and medical histories and police records - although I have ruled those out for relevancy, as only two had minor offences as teenagers," Olivia said, as Elliot rubbed the back of his neck as he turned around taking in all the evidence that Olivia had been reviewing.

"How long have you been up?"

"I'm on my third cup of coffee - the courier woke me up delivering this, so I thought I would get started. Every one of these women disappeared within a twenty mile radius - and all between February to March and August to September over the same four year period. John's right - _it's no government conspiracy though_ \- but I think these women were all abducted by the same perp."

She paused for a moment, puzzled as to why Elliot was simply smiling at her, but when it became clear that he was not going to speak, she shrugged and continued.

"Three different police departments cover these areas - the abductions have taken place close to borders between jurisdictions, and I think that's why they haven't been connected. Let's read through the case notes and see if there are any suspects or leads in common between the different jurisdictions," she continued, as she moved to a space on the floor and sat down, crossing her legs as she grabbed a file.

Elliot leaned down and kissed her head - she looked up and returned his gesture with a warm smile.

"OK Liv, let's get to it," he said as he grabbed a file and sat next to her, his hand moving to her back and rubbing small circles as they began to read the files. Olivia scooted closer to him, and leaned against him slightly.

Elliot made a mental note to thank Munch when they got home - it seemed an impossibly large stack of paperwork, but Olivia had organised it all and was focused and determined. Elliot sat amidst the paperwork, his hand on her back, and her head resting lightly against his chest, and despite the potentially grim nature of the investigations they were reviewing, he felt a warmth at seeing her regain her drive.

Then he focused again on the file in front of him, and took comfort as he realised _that Olivia was going to be OK._

 **What will they discover?**


	9. Chapter 9

Elliot rested his arm on the open window of the car door as he tried desperately to get some air into the car - it was too hot, far too hot to have driven to three different witnesses homes in one afternoon. They drove back along the road toward the local police station where Cragen had instructed them to go and introduce themselves if they were going to be making themselves known. He hadn't been thrilled with the idea at first, but if it meant that Olivia was doing what she loved, then Cragen relented, hoping that it would ultimately bring her home to them.

Elliot felt the slightest tendrils of a breeze as the car sped along, and he caught sight of a motel, where the words ' _air conditioning'_ and ' _pool'_ were prominently advertised underneath the sign. He sighed as he glanced at Olivia who was concentrating on the busy street ahead of her, and noticed that her hair was dampening and she was clearly flushed from the sweltering heat in the car.

"Liv, we gotta take a break, you're gonna overheat in this car. Let's go some place with air conditioning and get a drink, one of us is gonna pass out otherwise, and we should really eat."

Olivia glanced briefly at him before turning her attention back to the road, "Ok, look - maybe we should ditch this car and get a hire car - something with air conditioning."

"That sounds like a wonderful plan Liv," he said, as she pulled over and stopped, pulling out a map, "and sat nav...it's confusing around here,"

Elliot unbuckled his seatbelt and reached over, stroking her cheek tenderly, eliciting a smile from her before getting out of the car and stretching.

Olivia unbuckled her seatbelt and watched him as he stretched his arms above his head - she felt just as cramped and uncomfortable and felt a pang of love as she took him in. He was in a hot, cramped car in sweltering heat, but he wasn't complaining really - he was doing this for her, and she knew it.

Looking at her, he noticed her gaze on him and smiled, "you coming out of there?"

Olivia climbed out of her seat, her clothes almost sticking to her in the heat.

"Once we are done at the police station, we could get a motel further up near Phoenix - we want to be over that way, so no point driving back tonight."

"Air conditioning, shower, dinner," Elliot said, looking relieved as he walked over and pulled her into his arms, " _bed_ , sounds good to me."

Olivia smiled and giggled as he suddenly held her closer and placed a flurry of light kisses down her neck. He smiled warmly, loving the sound that she made - feeling so privileged to see this side of her, to share these intimate moments with her.

 **FIVE THIRTY PM, THE CALAWELL MOTEL**

Olivia sunk back against the soft sheets of the bed as she watched Elliot pacing as he spoke on the phone, updating Cragen of their progress. She felt so much more refreshed having eaten, showered and rested. Deciding not to bother dressing as she had spent most of the day wanting to peel her own clothes off, she lay back against a pile of pillows which were serving to prop her up, in only a tank top and panties. She smiled at Elliot as he talked on the phone and noticed him stammer as his eyes fell to her bare legs and then began to roam up her body.

Olivia stifled a laugh and picked up a pillow, throwing it in his direction in an attempt to get him to regain his focus. Elliot caught the pillow easily and glared at her, making her laugh until she returned her attention to the folder in front of her as Elliot got Cragen up to speed on their activities.

\- Olivia has identified three links - two of the witnesses we saw today - from different jurisdictions, both reported a man walking a dog - one of them said that the police didn't think it was anything worth considering so didn't put it in the report. The officers here showed us the witness statements and notes from their canvass of the surrounding streets, and there are a few common factors, but the other links aren't concrete. We have some leads to chase tomorrow though.

Elliot returned his attention to Olivia as he held the phone out to her.

"Liv," he began, "you know Cragen needs you to check in personally….."

Olivia smiled slightly as she took the phone.

-Hey Captain, _I'm fine, really_. Do you really need to make sure you speak to me personally every time?

Elliot watched her silently, listening to her end of the conversation. Her annoyance at Cragen's continued concern as well as his insistence that she check in regularly gave him a certain comfort. She hated the attention cast her way - she just wanted to focus on the investigation and didn't want her own feelings to be the source of any debate - and certainly not the cause of any interruption in her ability to immerse herself in the case.

Elliot smiled - she didn't even realise how much she had healed in the past two weeks. He could see her focus and her drive returning with the passion that she always had for her cases. It warmed him to see that - her passion shone from within her.

Once she ended the call she flopped down on to the bed and turned to look at Elliot with a smile.

"Can't do anything more tonight, we should get to bed."

Elliot climbed on to the bed and immediately straddled her, eliciting a surprised laugh from her.

"Yeah Liv, we really _should_ go to bed…" he said playfully.

Olivia swallowed as he leaned down over over, his chest touching hers as he looked into her eyes.

" _We definitely,"_ he said as he placed a light flurry of kisses on her neck, " _should go to bed_."

Olivia laughed as she ran her hands up his back, her fingers tracing lightly to the back of his neck.

He looked at her for a moment, pausing as he took hold of her arms, and then placed them either side of her head. Olivia maintained eye contact, loving how desired she felt, lying underneath him.

Elliot ran both of his hands up her arms slowly, the firmer pressure of his touch sending a shiver of pleasure through her. Reaching her wrists he stopped and grasped - using just the right amount of pressure to hold her in place, but knowing that he was not holding her too tightly so that she could release her wrists from his hold if she really wanted to.

"I can't get enough of you, baby," he said, his voice low and sincere.

Olivia sighed and wriggled underneath him as she raised her thigh, moving it slowly between his legs.

" _Mmm…"_ she moaned, " _that's good, because I can't get enough of you, either."_

As his lips met hers, their mouths collided with passion, and their bodies pressed tightly together. Elliot groaned as he released her wrists, focusing on pulling her tank top up, and over her head. Glancing down at her, he placed his hands on her stomach, running a path up towards her breasts, where he stopped before lightly skimming his fingers across her sensitive flesh.

"You are so beautiful Olivia," he whispered.

As his fingers found their way into the delicate material of her panties, he gripped, tugging them slowly down. He honestly didn't think that undressing her would ever lose it's eroticism.

As they made love Olivia pulled him closer to her, wanting to feel his body connecting with hers.

"I love you," she whispered as she allowed herself to slip into the moment with him and think of nothing but their love for each other.

 **8AM** **THE CALAWELL MOTEL**

"Morning beautiful," Elliot said warmly as he placed a kiss on her cheek.

Olivia opened her eyes and smiled, "Hey El, what time is it?"

"Little after eight - I brought breakfast up from downstairs," he said, placing another kiss, this time on her head, as he stood up and brought a tray over.

Olivia moved up, until she was sitting, resting her back against the cushioned headboard. She smiled, noticing a flower in a small vase on the tray, "breakfast in bed? This is a first...thanks El."

Elliot looked at her quizzically, "You've never had breakfast in bed before?"

"Well...I -" she paused, suddenly feeling embarrassed, "no..but I could certainly get used to you waking me up by kissing me and bringing me breakfast..this is nice."

Elliot smiled as he climbed onto the bed next to her and put his arm around her, pulling her close to him.

"What's the plan for today?" he asked as he deftly stole a piece of toast from her tray, earning him a playful glare.

"Well - Munch had a theory - _don't even ask_ , but the basis of his theory is going to help us."

"We're back to alien abductions?" Elliot asked jokingly.

Olivia gave his wrist a playful slap as she spotted him reaching for another piece of her toast.

" _No_...but he has a map of the last seen locations...I think it's the perps hunting ground...and his base is in the centre….it's almost exact - they are all within the same distance outside of one central area."

Elliot took hold of the map and looked at it, intrigued.

"There's something to this - a large wood in the central area and a few houses within the radius...you've got something here," he said as he took a sip of her orange juice.

Olivia reached for her juice, her hand closing around Elliot's instead of the glass as he placed it back on her tray. She looked at him and smiled as he returned her gaze, and the warmth and love they both held so deeply for each other reflected back.

Elliot relinquished his hold on her glass and leaned over, kissing her on her cheek as he smiled.

"Eat up, looks like we have a lot of ground to cover."


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for the delay here - but you'll be pleased to know that the ending and significant portions of the next two chapters are now written, so hopefully I can continue updating a little more regularly. Three more chapters left to go.**

 **Also - I am British, I have never been to NYC but I did once drive through Arizona many years ago, so I am hoping I've done okay with setting the scene here! The town mentioned here is a fictional one.**

They were again seated in Olivia's car - having decided to stick it out for another day as arranging car hire would take too much time. With the windows rolled down, they headed out, hoping to cover a good distance and make their way into the centre of the area Munch had identified before the heat began to pick up.

Olivia sat in the passenger seat this time, and turned to watch Elliot as he looked at the road ahead. It was another long quiet stretch of road, with no signs of buildings or people on the horizon. There was something Olivia found soothing about that - driving forwards yet not seeing any visual cues to a change of direction or end of their journey. Nothing but a long, straight road - only the mountains in the distance. It gave her a sense of peace, in that she wasn't needing to be on her guard; just allowing herself to enjoy that peace with the man she trusted above anyone else.

She glanced at him, he was watching the road ahead but he somehow knew - he always knew when she had something on her mind.

"You ok?" he said as he glanced at her.

"Yes," she smiled, "I am, I like it out here...It never gets this quiet in the city - especially at night... I could get used to this scenery."

"Yeah, you know we should make this a regular thing... _a vacation that is_ \- out here, just us."

"You don't think Cragen would question us taking vacation time together?" she asked.

"Well," he said, processing her words, "can't say I've thought much about what anyone is gonna think Liv. He probably has an idea though…"

"Why?" Olivia asked, turning to face him more fully, "did you say something?"

"No, I wouldnt do that without talking to you first - but you were all I could think about while you were gone, I just couldn't get my head into anything else. He must know…"

He glanced at her, seeing the tension in her body.

"You ok with that?"

"I don't know - I mean...I'm suddenly wondering what Cragen is going to think...I wasn't even planning on coming back…"

"And now?" Elliot asked, as he swallowed.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss this - doing this with you, but if I go back and Cragen knows about us...what's going to happen?"

"How about we just take it a step at a time - let's work this case, then when we go back, you can talk to Cragen..our relationship..it doesn't have to come into it - not unless he comes out and asks you - nothing has to change, Liv. Cragen isn't going to try and pull the rug out from under you as soon as you walk back in the door, you know he wouldn't do that."

Olivia took a breath and sighed, "I hope you're right...I just feel like right now things are...good...but I'm scared to feel happy like this...with you...this just never works for me, relationships...I've never been able to do _this_ , I don't wanna lose anything we have."

"Olivia, I wouldn't do anything to risk what we have together - any of it...our friendship, our relationship...if we can do what we are doing, work together just as well as we always have, then we can keep this to ourselves until we really want to share it. This isn't something to overthink Liv - you _are doing this_...we've been doing this for years...we've just never told each other how we feel. We already have a connection deeper than anything else...and we arent going to lose that - I promise you."

Olivia looked at him and smiled, "Okay, El."

"Just promise me something, OK?" he began, turning to watch her reaction, "nothing you share with me is ever going to change the way I see you. I love you, and I want to be there for you, and you just gotta let me. Promise me that you'll talk to me - let me help you - if you feel like you're falling, if something hits you hard, come to me. Don't walk out of my life again, because I swear Liv, _I couldn't take it again."_

Olivia's eyes filled with tears as she took a deep breath and battled to keep them at bay.

"I won't," she whispered, "I swear to you Elliot."

Olivia reached across and placed her hand over his, and then he turned his hand instinctively and grasped hers, before raising her hand to his lips and placing a kiss. Olivia smiled and her tears abated as she rested her head back against the soft cushion of the car seat.

Thirty minutes later they were out of their car having parked within the perimeter of the area marked off on the map. The sun was beating down on them and their timing had been perfect; stepping out just when the heat had begun to make the confinement of the car uncomfortable.

"We have plenty of daylight left - that should make it easier to get a real feel for the layout of the area," Olivia said as she glanced round.

"Not much out here at all - the only houses within the area and the few just outside are pretty spaced apart. Doubt there will be neighbours to talk to," Elliot observed as he stepped closer to Olivia and placed a hand warmly on her back.

Olivia smiled before returning her concentration to the map she now held.

"How are we doing this?" Elliot asked.

"Well...I think this guy is outside of society - he either feels like an outsider or he literally is. None of the people interviewed expressed concern over any of their neighbours so I'm guessing the person we are looking for may be the man with the dog that had been spotted by two witnesses, he could be our perp," Olivia said.

"So he is literally an outsider - won't be on the radar of the local police because he doesn't live in the town," Elliot agreed.

"He might literally live within this radius - Munch's potential locations for 'a secret base' might actually be where we find the perp," Olivia said.

"Okay, let's play this carefully, we don't wanna stumble into something here," Elliot said as he pulled out his phone, "no cell reception - same with yours?"

Olivia took her phone out of her pocket and cast a glance at the display before sliding it back in.

"No signal - not ideal, but I kept an eye on it as we were driving up here - it started getting patchy twenty miles out of town - then dropped completely in the last five miles. We checked in with the local police, so as long as we stay within the area we highlighted on the map then they know where we are," Olivia said.

"First sign of trouble and we head out of here, and get back on the road until we can reach them and call for backup," Elliot said.

"Absolutely, lets go see if there's anything to find up here."

Elliot walked alongside her as they made their way across the rocky plain, following the map in a spiral towards the central area. After only twenty minutes, the heat was bearing down on them and they stopped to rest, both taking out their bottles of water and drinking. Olivia sat next to Elliot, both leaning back against a large rock, providing some degree of shade.

"Looks like a lot of cattle comes this way - the ground seems really disturbed along here," Elliot said as he gestured to it.

Olivia eased herself up, stretching, "I need the bathroom, I'll just be a minute."

Elliot let a small amount of water drop from the bottle onto his hands and watched as it evaporated quickly. The changeable New York climate was something he was well accustomed to - but this constant heat was hard going when they were walking out in it.

He shook his head as he took in their current situation - he had not expected to be in Arizona under the intense midday heat, investigating cold cases with his partner when he had set out to find her. He had imagined that he would find her, they would probably hug, argue, and she would eventually just agree to come home with him. He hadn't really formulated any kind of plan beyond that, so when she said she wasn't going home with him he really didn't know how to handle it. Going with her was not what he set out to do, but he wanted nothing more than to be by her side.

With a slight smile his thoughts drifted to the past week - of how focused and involved she had been in the case. He wanted these moments with her - this precious time away from the city - it seemed almost an ideal - investigating with her, spending their nights together, being able to express their affection to each other without concern at who might notice.

Suddenly, his thoughts switched immediately to the downside of their situation - unarmed and with no cell phone reception and no actual jurisdiction, as Olivia approached. He paused and got to his feet as she walked back toward him. He didn't need to ask her if anything was wrong - their eyes locked for a brief moment and he knew that she had discovered something.

"Liv?" he asked.

"The cattle have disturbed more than the ground, there's something back here."

They both knelt on the ground, using sticks to move the earth - it was not easy, the ground was hard, but with some effort they uncovered enough to realise quickly that the body had been there for long enough that this was not the most recent woman abducted.

Olivia stood and flinched briefly at the sight of the decaying arm they had uncovered. Elliot gave up trying to dig any further, realising that there was little point.

"We don't want to draw attention to this - if the perp knows we've seen it, this could get bad fast," Elliot said.

"This is the outer part of the perimeter - if we kept following this around, I wouldn't be surprised if we found more bodies. The latest abduction El - she could still be alive."

"As soon as we catch sight of anything - people, buildings, anything to show us that someone else is out here then we stop," Elliot said, "even if she's alive out here, we don't know what we're up against."

"Okay," Olivia nodded.

They continued on, both walking a reasonable distance apart, but still able to hear each other speak. They both scanned the ground, looking for any more signs of disturbed earth, but not until they had walked for a further ten minutes did they have cause to stop.

"You see that, Liv?"

Olivia stopped and followed his gaze, using her hand to shield her eyes from the sun, wishing that she had thought to buy sunglasses when Elliot had taken her to the town to buy clothes and supplies.

"Looks like a small cabin - pretty run down," she said, turning to Elliot, "I think it's time to head back."

"Yeah...what I would do to be armed right now - I wanna know if anyones in there," Elliot said.

"I know Elliot, all we can do is go and alert the local police though. Believe me I want to go over there too," she said with a frustrated edge to her voice.

"Let's go, we need to call this in," Elliot said.

Elliot glanced around as they walked back in the direction they had come from, trying to take in visual cues to help recall the location when they reported it to the local police.

Olivia glanced at the cabin in the distance, trying to keep an eye out for any signs of movement.

They walked back for several minutes until a voice startled them both. Gasping Olivia spun around, staring into the rocky plain silently.

 **I will aim to finish the next chapter by the end of the week - it's half way there.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you for reading - we have two more chapters left after this. Why not take a look at Nurse Betty Page's first SVU story (not EO but it's a Liv story with plenty of Munch)** **s/11479675/1/**

"Anyone there?" Elliot said, "We're looking for a phone, our car broke down - think you could help us out?"

Olivia tensed, feeling considerably aware that neither of them had a gun.

"Sure, I have a phone in my cabin, I can make a call for you," a voice began as a man stepped out from behind them, "sorry didn't mean to surprise you - I'm not used to other people coming up here. Kinda get used to the solitude."

Elliot and Olivia turned to face him, "No problem, just glad we bumped into you - we're losing our bearing a bit out here," he said as Olivia watched the man warily.

"Right this way folks, but you'll need to be real quiet - my girlfriend is asleep - had a bit of a late night last night," he said as he turned to Olivia winking, " _if you know what I mean._ "

Olivia exchanged a quick glance with Elliot before he placed his arm around her shoulders and followed the man on the walk to the cabin.

Shutting the door, he looked at Olivia and gestured, "Take a seat," before turning to Elliot, "Phones over there...I gotta go check we haven't woken my girlfriend up, she'll be mad after the night we had," he said as he stepped closer to Olivia, smiling at her suggestively before turning and heading out of the door.

They both kept him in their line of sight until he was a good distance away, heading in the direction of an outbuilding.

Olivia breathed out, "Wow."

"I know, friendly loner...he'd give anyone the creeps - and why the hell is he checking on his girlfriend… _.out there -_ I can only see a shed _..._."

"I'm calling backup," said Olivia as she grabbed the phone. Elliot took out his cell and quickly relayed the number of the local police to her.

Olivia spoke quickly, relieved that their position had been traced and officers who knew the area far better than they did would be heading out. She hung up just as she noticed the man coming back from the barn.

"They're on their way, but it will take them at least thirty minutes to reach us out here," she sighed.

"Let's keep this guy where we can see him... _next time Liv_...we go to the beach, okay?" said Elliot as he kept his eye on the barn through the window.

"Sure, beach it is," Olivia replied as she sat back down on the sofa.

Elliot looked up and smiled as he came back in,"Thanks, they have the car - GPS locator was worth the cost wasn't it honey?" he said as he turned to Olivia.

"Sure was," she said, "but we have a bit of a walk back though, could I use your bathroom before we head out?"

"Sure," he said, as he approached her, "let me show you where it is."

Olivia tensed, realising he was not going to give her a chance to look around that easily. She rose and followed him, her eyes briefly flashing to Elliot's.

"You know what, that's a good idea, I'll come with you," Elliot said.

Walking to the back of the cabin along a narrow hallway, he gestured to the door at the end, "right through there, I'll be outside - point you in the right direction once you're ready to go."

"Thanks," Olivia smiled warmly.

Once in the bathroom, they listened for the sound of the door closing and only when they heard continued movement outside the cabin did they relax and start talking.

"I don't wanna turn our backs on this creep until backup get here, we gotta keep him talking. If he heads into that shed and he has someone in there - he might panic and kill, thinking we're too close," said Elliot, "the most recent woman to go missing...Hayley Roberts?...she could still be alive."

"Okay, we distract him, and try and take a look in there," said Olivia.

They made their way to the front, going out of the door and down the steps into the dusty un-fenced yard. It was difficult to tell where the cabin's grounds ended but it was certainly secluded enough to not be an issue with anyone stumbling across the cabin easily.

Turning the corner, so that the shed would be in their line of sight, they both jumped, startled as they were met by a large growling dog, jumping out at them. They both jumped back, but then relaxed somewhat realising that the dog was secured by a long leash. Walking past, they gave it a wide berth as they made their way round to the rear of the cabin, it's loud barking sounding ferocious and frustrated.

Exchanging a glance, Olivia quickly moved off as soon as they had line of sight of the man, Elliot walking over to engage him.

He walked quickly in front of him so that he had no cause to turn around while speaking to him, giving Olivia opportunity to get closer to the shed.

"Woah, we don't want any trouble," Elliot said, holding out his hands as the man met his eyes with a hard stare, a rifle in his hands pointed loosely at him.

"Sorry about the rifle, I don't mean you no harm - but I gotta protect what's mine…" he said, his voice suddenly taking a dangerous tone, " _do you know what I mean_?"

"That's understandable," said Elliot, "living on your own out here, you need to protect yourself."

"Where's your girlfriend?" he asked with an air of suspicion.

"She was feeling a bit unwell from the heat - she's just sitting inside with a glass of water - hope that's OK?" Elliot asked.

"Oh..well okay. _Hey_ ," he said as he stepped closer, the rifle aiming squarely at Elliot's chest, "you wanna see something special?"

"Sure, but you wanna stop aiming that at me?" Elliot said.

The man laughed, "I think I'm gonna keep it right where it is - can't be too careful these days."

" _Okay_ , what is it you wanna show me then?" Elliot said, fighting the urge to look in Olivia's direction and see if she was returning yet.

"Come with me, this way," he gestured.

Elliot cautiously followed him, tensing as he realised they were headed in the direction of the shed. Unaware of whether Olivia was inside or not, he walked slowly.

Olivia had moved immediately to the shed, and wasted no time in opening the door and slipping in. Closing it behind her firmly and quickly without glancing back, she kept her eyes ahead of her and fought to focus in the dark, windowless shed.

"Hello?" Olivia called as her eyes scanned the dark shapes in the outbuilding carefully.

"Mmmm!"

Olivia startled at the muffled sound and fumbled around in the dark until her hands fell on to something warm and sticky. Pausing for a moment, until the accompanying smell reached her, she realised straight away that it was blood.

Taking a breath she pulled out her phone and switched it on, shining the light from her display toward the source of the blood.

Her heart thudded heavily in her chest as she caught sight of a woman, lying on a mattress partially clothed, her arms restrained tightly with rope above her. Scanning her quickly, Olivia found the source of the blood; several knife wounds to her abdomen and legs.

Dropping to her knees next to her, Olivia propped up her phone on a box next to the mattress, angling it to keep some light on the woman, and put her hands straight to the rope, testing the bond, pulling and clawing at the knot.

"Damn it, I can't get it loose," Olivia said, before turning her attention to the tape covering the woman's mouth.

"I'm going to take this off, but it'll hurt - I'll try and be gentle, ok?" Olivia whispered, realizing that she needed to keep quiet.

Taking careful hold of the edge of the tape, she pulled removing it. The woman gasped, taking several deep breaths before staring at her.

"It's OK," she whispered, "I'm a detective, my name's Olivia, are you Hayley?"

The woman nodded, tears rolling from her eyes, "Yeah..I'm Hayley...please tell me you're getting me out of here."

"Help is on it's way, my partner is out there with that man - who is he?"

"Matt...he only told me Matt," Hayley said, her breath ragged and desperate, "when are they coming? When are they coming to get me out of here? I saw a dead body - he killed another woman...i'm so scared," she sobbed.

Olivia moved her hand to Hayley's bound wrists and gripped her hands reassuringly. "They are on their way, just a little while longer OK...if I can loosen the rope I will honey, OK?"

Hayley nodded as Olivia moved her hands back to the rope, trying again to loosen it, but stopped when footsteps rapidly approached the shed. Switching off her phone she remained still, her hand still holding Hayley's as she listened to the voices outside.

"Oh you are gonna really like this...no one ever comes here - I never get to show off my collection...come and take a look," Matt said with an eerie air of excitement.

Olivia let go of Hayley's hand and flinched slightly as she heard her whimper. Feeling around in the dark, she sought anything that could be used as a possible weapon. Her hands rubbed against the dirt floor, bumping into a variety of objects littered around the shed. Moving to the wall, she ran her hands up against the wall in the dark until she hit something solid. Not even knowing what it was, she grabbed it, satisfied by it's weight, yet ease of manoeuvrability and positioned herself behind the door.

"Maybe my girlfriend would like to see it too...let's go back and get her," Elliot said.

"You know what, i'm the one holding the gun, and I will go and get her, _when I decide to go and get her._..right now we are gonna go take a look at my... _art_."

Elliot turned to him, his gaze lingering on the rifle which was pointing more determinedly at him now.

"Your art? You wanna show me..what? A painting in here or something? I gotta say i'm not big into art...but my girlfriend is, so let's go back inside and tell her, i'm sure she will appreciate it."

Elliot closed his eyes momentarily as he felt the gun dig into his side, realising he could not buy any more time if Olivia was still inside.

"Go ahead and open it," Matt said.

Elliot grasped the latch and lifted it, pulling the door open slowly.

"It's pretty dark in here, you wanna go in first and flip the light switch?" Elliot said, knowing that if Olivia was still inside, that she would get the message that he was coming in first.

Elliot froze as he pushed the door open, the shed becoming flooded with light. The woman laid in front of him, and screamed as Matt walked all the way in, leaving the door open to cast light into the room.

Olivia took a deep breath and chose her moment carefully, edging the door slightly so that she could make eye contact with Elliot, she silently waited until Matt's back was toward her as he faced Hayley.

In one fast movement, Olivia lunged forward, bringing down what she now realised was the butt of an axe, in between his shoulder blades with all the force she could muster.

Matt cried out, his grip loosening significantly on his rifle as he stumbled forward, almost dropping on top of Hayley.

Elliot moved fast, grabbing the rifle from his hand, as Olivia pushed him to the ground next to the mattress, dropping her body weight on to him by driving her knee into his back.

They briefly exchanged a glance before quickly switching places; Elliot pinning him to the ground as Olivia quickly searched the shed for something to restrain him with. Finding some cord, she bound his wrists tightly, and tested the bond carefully before Elliot eased himself up casting a glance at Hayley.

"Help is on the way, just a little while longer, okay? it's over now," he said reassuringly.

"We need something to cut the rope, her wrists are bleeding," Olivia said.

"You go check the house, I'll keep an eye on this psycho," Elliot said as he stared down at him.

Olivia returned within minutes with a knife and moved straight to Hayley, carefully cutting at the rope until her wrists were finally free. She helped her moved her arms down to her sides, and took hold of her hand, holding tightly as she smoothed her damp hair from her face, as finally, the sound of sirens filled them all with a sense of relief.

"Can you hear that?" Olivia said to Hayley, "they are nearly here, and you're getting out of here. It's over Hayley."

Hayley closed her eyes and cried in relief and exhaustion.

 **They found the perp and saved the latest victim in two days - and they still have time before the flight, they are so awesome! Two more chapters to go - they need a bit of downtime after this, and then they head home...**

 **I have a story I started but got a block with it, but I will be working on another very soon if I don't continue that one. If you have any suggestions for my series of M rated one shots set in season 11 (Need) please let me know ;-) Contemplating AU too. :-) I love writing EO! These two are just so awesome together - as detectives as well as lovers :-) :-)**


	12. Chapter 12

**I knew they could solve it - and they did it in less than three days! :-)**

Darkness had fallen quickly, but the ground was well lit with a vast array of artificial lamps. Officers with dogs scoured the area, having distributed copies of the map, identifying potential areas where bodies could be buried. They agreed that the disappearances were all linked now and as such knew exactly how many bodies they were looking for.

Matt's dog has seemed considerably less ferocious once he had been freed by an officer and given some food and water, and had actually been very helpful in leading them in their search of the area.

Elliot and Olivia sat down on a wooden bench which disturbingly held a view of all of the activity now taking place. Elliot's arm was around Olivia's shoulder as her head rested against him. The had exchanged few words - remaining relatively silent since they had led the officers to the location of the first body. They needed little in the way of words to express their thoughts and were both comfortable in companionable silence as they watched the activities of the crime scene officers.

Olivia looked up, focusing away from the crime scene and instead, on the sky; the beauty of the clear night sky - a stark comparison to the activity happening on the ground.

"Hey El," she said softly.

"Yeah?"

"I have seen three shooting stars since we've been sitting here - I wouldn't mind looking up at this sky every night - it's beautiful…"

Feeling Elliot tense she turned slightly, slipping her arm around his chest.

"El," she whispered, "don't do that."

"Do what?"

"React like that...I didn't say I wanted to stay here..it's kinda lost it's appeal now that we are surround by CSU and police digging up bodies... _believe me_ , I don't wanna stay here anymore."

Elliot leaned down and placed a kiss on her head.

"Sorry Liv, I know you weren't saying that you wanted to stay. I can't help it - _I love you Olivia_ , and I just want you to come home with me tomorrow."

Olivia pulled away to look at him, "I _am_ coming home with you El, tomorrow we are getting on the plane and going home, _together_. I promise you."

Elliot smiled, "let's go check if they need anything else from us tonight - this sky will look much better from the hotel balcony," he said before standing up, taking her hand and pulling up her to join him.

He hesitated for a moment as they walked toward the captain, then casually put his arm around Olivia's shoulders.

"El...that's not something we usually do…" Olivia began.

Elliot laughed, "What?...you're freezing, I'm just warming you up. I really think they are all far too busy to notice."

Despite his confidence, Elliot dropped his arm from Olivia before they approached the captain, who confirmed that with their statements, map and visual identification of the location the first body that they didn't need anything else from them. Relieved, they were soon back in Olivia's car, with the help of officers who escorted them with flashlights.

Back at the hotel, Olivia dropped wearily onto the clean white sheets of the bed. The softness of the mattress was a welcome relief.

"I didn't realise how much I was aching until I laid down - we must have walked farther than I thought we did," she said.

Frowning, she wondered why he hadn't responded.

"Elliot? You've been in the bathroom for ages, what are you doing in there?" she called.

Elliot opened the door and smiled, "Patience Liv."

"Patience for what?" Olivia asked.

Elliot laughed, "That's definitely _not_ being patient...come on, you need to relax," he said as he held out his hand to her.

Olivia gave him a confused look before taking his hand and letting him pull her up from the bed. Olivia groaned at the loss of the feeling of the cushioned mattress against her, but allowed Elliot to lead her into the bathroom.

Once inside she stopped and turned to him with a smile, slipping her arms around his waist.

"El... _this is lovely_ , I never knew you could be so romantic."

The room was lit with the dim glow of candlelight, and the bath was full and giving off a delicate flowery scent. Next to the bath were two wine glasses, half filled with red wine.

Elliot smiled, pleased that he had impressed her with the gesture.

"Just one condition though baby," he said with a playful smile.

"Oh yeah," Olivia said, raising an eyebrow, "what condition might that be?"

Elliot moved closer to her, taking her into his arms and kissing her lightly on her neck, eliciting a laugh.

"I get to undress you," he said, with a low deep tone that made Olivia want to skip the bath and go straight to bed.

"Mmm...I'd like that El," she said, as her hands made their way to his shirt, pulling it out, and sliding her hands up his chest.

The next morning, the sun shone in through the edges of the curtain casting bands of light across the room as Olivia stirred. Immediately feeling the warmth of Elliot's body next to hers she snuggled closer to him, enjoy the feeling of waking up with him. Smiling, she ran her hand across his chest and turned slightly so that she was facing him as she slipped one of her legs in between his.

She loved the way it felt when the lay so close together - an intimacy she never thought they would share; their feelings long unacknowledged and their physical boundaries never broached.

Feeling Elliot's arm move around her waist and pull her even closer, she smiled.

Elliot open his eyes and looked at her - she returned his gaze with a warm loving smile, and he realised yet again, that he was quite possibly the luckiest man alive.

"Hey beautiful," he said, returning her smile.

Olivia eased herself up, resting her chin on her hand as she looked into his eyes.

"Good morning," she said, her voice soft with affection, "I love this, El."

Elliot mirrored her pose, as he looked at her, "I think, Olivia," he began as he reached around and pulled her into his arms, taking her in a passionate kiss, "that we should wake up like this every morning."

Noticing Olivia break eye contact and tense slightly, he sighed and sat up. Olivia sat up too, their bodies remaining close as Elliot took her hand in his before reaching up and stroking her hair with his other hand.

"I didn't mean to seem too forward Liv, but look at it this way - it's not like we've only just met. We have been friends...more than friends really, for years."

"I'm sorry," Liv sighed, "I wasn't panicking El, I promise. _I want to wake up with you like this every day_ , that's not what I was worrying about, believe me."

"We are gonna need to be honest with each other Liv - if I made you uncomfortable, tell me baby," he said quietly.

"I'm not uncomfortable, I just don't know how we are going to do this," she said, "I want to be with you... _I am with you_ , and that's not going to change, but If we do this every day, how do we handle it?"

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked, not quite sure where she was going with her line of thought.

"I mean, we can't arrive at work together every day - Cragen would realise we are leaving for work together every day, he will figure it out and he wont let us remain as partners El," Olivia said as she returned her gaze to his.

"Liv, that's all you're concerned about? You had me worried for a minute there," Elliot said.

"You're happy for Cragen to split us up?" she asked with a pang of anxiety.

"No Liv, _i'm not_ , but being with you is what matters. Just take it a day at a time - if he finds out then we can talk to him, but if the price of being with you is changing partners then I can live with that. I don't want to do that, but I won't sacrifice what we have now," he said, as he reached and again smoothed her hair back gently, "you mean far too much to me," he whispered.

"But what if…" she began, but her concerns were silenced as he placed a kiss on her lips.

" _Stop worrying_ \- _we_ are what matter here Liv, nothing is going to change right away, and if it does, _eventually_ , we just go with it, take it as it comes, but we are far more than partners Liv, we always were, just now there's nothing holding us back."

Olivia smiled and nodded.

"You feeling ok about the flight tomorrow?" Elliot asked her.

"Sure," Olivia replied sounding not at all sure.

Elliot chuckled, "and you really feel?"

Olivia sighed and smiled, "sorry - I'm just dreading facing Cragen after he opened an investigation, and having to talk to Huang - I don't want everyone looking at me like I'm losing it, like I'm not going to hold it together."

Elliot leaned forward and kissed her, "No one is going to look at you like that - you've spoken to Cragen, Munch and Fin, they just want you to come back, they are not going to look at you any differently. They are all looking forward to seeing you Liv, that's all, I promise you."

Olivia smiled and put her arms around him, as she leant forward and kissed him. Smiling, he noticed her visibly relax and took the opportunity to return her embrace, and roll her quickly down, on to her back. She laughed at the sudden maneuver and ran her hands up his chest before holding his face in her hands as he leant down, his mouth close to hers, their lips almost touching.

"I love you Olivia," he whispered, before taking her in a passionate kiss, her mouth instantly opening and urging their kiss to deepen, "we love each other, and that's all that matters, ok?"

"Mmm," she said, as she kissed him again, pausing to look into his eyes, "I love you too El, it's all that matters."

 **Next chapter is the final one - Olivia comes back to New York. :-)**


	13. Chapter 13

As the taxi drove along the familiar streets, Elliot sat with his arm around her in the back seat, her head leaning slightly on his shoulder, his hand holding hers. She felt relaxed as she leaned into him, his arm warm and loving around her.

Elliot glanced at Oliva's reflection in the window - she didn't look the same, but not in the way she had when he found her in Arizona. She looked the same beautiful, strong, passionate woman that she had always been, but she had an air of happiness about her which he knew he wore too. Wondering for a moment how they could ever hope that no one else would notice the shift in their relationship, he pushed the thought away. Certainly when they were working they were dedicated and focused just as they always had been - but in downtime, he wondered how he could restrain himself from looking at her this way - wanting to hold her, _wanting to kiss her._

Elliot's phone suddenly rang, startling him from his thoughts, as he shifted slightly to pull it from his pocket and glanced at the display.

"It's Cragen," he said.

Olivia shifted slightly, as Elliot's arm loosened his hold on her as he answered his phone.

-Stabler. Yeah cap - we're heading home now - flight was fine...yep, we'll be in tomorrow, see you then.

Elliot pulled her close to him again, "you wanna stop at your place for anything?"

"No, It feels a bit surreal being back, I just want to go to your place tonight," she said.

Elliot kissed her on her head and smiled, "So tonight I get to have Olivia Benson in my bed - I must have done something really right."

Olivia glanced at him briefly, he had gone to great lengths to find her, he had shown her just how much he loved her and brought her home. She loved him even more for that.

Olivia smiled, " _Oh you have El._ "

That night, Elliot smiled as Olivia slipped under the sheets, joining him as he took her in his arms. He kissed her softly before running his hand down her side and resting it on her hip as he looked at her.

"Gotta say, this is not how I thought this was gonna turn out, Liv….you've made me very happy sweetheart," he whispered, as he watched her reaction.

He loved watching the way she reacted to his endearments - her eyes softened and her smile lit her up. He had missed that so much - _her smile_. To know that he was the reason that she was smiling; that she loved him, _that his feelings were reciprocated,_ it gave him an inner peace that he didn't even know he was missing until she had said those words, and let him know that she felt the same.

That night as they made love, in Elliot's bed, the reality of their relationship seemed so much clearer. Olivia wrapped her legs around his back, urging him deeper as her hands roamed his back and chest. She didn't feel any doubt, or any fear about how it would all turn out - she just knew she was making love to Elliot - her best friend, her partner; but so much more:

 _He had not let her walk away. He had done everything he could to find her and bring her home; to her life, to his arms, to his heart..._

 **PRECINCT**

"You ready, Liv?" Elliot asked as he stood alongside her in the elevator.

Olivia took a deep breath and looked at him, "As i'll ever be," she said with a hesitant smile.

Elliot reached over and gently squeezed her hand before dropping his arm back to his side before the elevator doors opened.

Stepping out into the squad room Olivia felt instantly at home - her hesitation rapidly diminishing as she took in the familiarity of the place which was at times her second home. Moving straight over to her desk she paused, and smiled as Fin approached her placing a hand affectionately on her arm.

"It's good to have you back, Liv," he smiled.

"Thanks Fin," she said returning his smile, "I didn't realise how much I missed this place."

Noticing their arrival, Cragen came to his door and smiled, gesturing for them to come in.

Olivia smiled at Munch who was leaning against the wall next to the captain's desk.

"Sit down," Cragen said, gesturing to the empty chairs in front of his desk.

"Well, you two are the talk of the Arizona PD - you cleared seven cold cases and an active abduction as soon as you had a bit of downtime. When I explained that you were both on vacation and not even armed, the brass up there were more than a little impressed with your dedication."

"A lot of the credit goes to Munch, he did the groundwork and the mapping," Olivia said, turning to Munch, "how did you find it though? Do you have a stack of cold cases that you're looking through?"

"Huh.. _well_ , disappearances are sometimes worth studying - I have some other patterns across two other states that you might want to take a look at Liv," Munch said, before glancing at Cragen, "my new theory is that if these two can't solve it then it might well be something worthy of some extra curricula investigation - I have a group of friends who are very interested in some events in Iowa…"

"Munch, I think Iowa will have to look into that themselves, I need these two here," Cragen said with an amused smile.

Munch headed toward the door and turned to Olivia, "Liv, let me know if you wanna help me take a look into some of these - you'd be surprised at the numbers of people who disappear, some even in groups - _we are not as safe as we think we are_ …"

Olivia laughed, "Well.. _.you were_ on to something the last time.."

Elliot gave her an incredulous look, "Liv, his Iowa theory is about an underground military base for experimenting on people!"

Munch smiled as he put a hand on her shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze, "You've been missed, Liv," he said, as he turned and left.

"Olivia," Cragen said, "you ready to have this back?"

Olivia looked up as he placed her shield on his desk and pushed it over to her.

"Yes, I am," she said, smiling as tears pricked behind her eyes.

Reaching over she took her shield and clipped it on to her belt. Elliot sat beside her looking nothing short of relieved.

"Elliot - I need a few minutes with your partner…" Cragen said.

"Sure, I'll go get some coffee," said Elliot as he stood up and resisted the urge to reach out and stroke her hair as she smiled at him.

"Sounds good, thanks El."

Once the door closed Cragen gave her a smile, "I can't give you your gun back until you've seen Huang, but he can see you today at eleven, so we can get you started on that. You need to be on desk until you're cleared though, okay Liv?"

"Yes, I understand. Look _...captain..i'm sorry_ , I can't tell you what was going through my head because I couldn't even think straight."

"I'm relieved that you're home Liv, we were all concerned - this has been a hard few weeks. Elliot was deeply affected by you leaving - I wanted to respect your privacy but in truth we all did what we could to try to find you before it became official, you had us all worried Olivia," he sighed, watching her as she broke eye contact.

"Elliot took this pretty hard, the whole squad did. You're the heart of this squad Olivia - _your absence was felt more than I think you realise_."

Olivia raised her eyes to meet his, "I didn't want to hurt or worry anyone. I should have contacted one of you and I know that - it just got harder the longer I was gone. That sounds like a poor excuse - _and it is_ ," she said.

"I sat with her while she went through a rape kit, I held her while she broke, but I watched her rebuild herself and she had a future ahead of her. I was in shock...and I just ran," she said.

"Liv, the things we see here every day, it affects us all - sometimes more than others - if you're struggling at any point you need to talk to me - to Elliot, Huang.. _.any of us_. The times when it has hit me the hardest have surprised me over the years. Sometimes its not the cases you expect it to be. Not one of us can say that we don't have moments where this job gets too much. If any one of those guys out there deny that then they're lying."

"I know," she whispered, as she looked at him, "but I really am OK, and I'll see Huang for as long as necessary. I don't want everyone looking at me wondering if I'm coping. _I am_ \- I was in a bad place, but I'm not there now. I promise you that."

"I'm very happy to hear that," he smiled, "welcome home Olivia."

Olivia closed the door and paused, taking in the familarity of the squad room before walking over to her desk and sitting down opposite Elliot. He looked up and gave her a slight smile - the unspoken secret they shared passing between them briefly as Olivia felt a warmth fill her.

Olivia looked up and smiled as Fin walked past, dropping a case file onto her desk.

"We're going out to bring this guy in, gonna need us all on this one."

"Thanks Fin, i'll get up to speed," Olivia said as she opened the file and looked first at the photo of the victim before turning to the case details.

Elliot pick up his copy of the file and glanced up at Olivia briefly. Sensing his gaze she looked up, a question forming on her lips.

"Hey Liv, you coming for a drink when we get finished here later?" Fin said as he pulled on his jacket.

"Yes, count me in," Olivia said, with a smile before turning her gaze back to Elliot.

"El?" she said.

"Yeah that sounds good. You... wanna grab a bite to eat after?" Elliot asked, his tone neutral.

"Sure," Olivia said, matching his tone, before breaking their eye contact with a slight smile.

Elliot smiled as he looked down at the case file, taking a moment before he opened it to enjoy the peace he felt. These moments where everything in his life seemed to fit in place perfectly were rare - he glanced across his desk at his partner, who was now reading the case file. Once he opened his copy, he knew they would be Benson and Stabler - focused, switched on, unwavering in their drive to get justice for the victim whose photo would be in the file.

Stealing one more moment to think of her, he let his gaze leave her, not wanting to draw attention. He took comfort that later she would be in his arms, _in his bed_ , and he would be loving her - they would simply be Elliot and Olivia.

 **Thank you so much for reading. It's great that there are still lots of EO fans - that we still love EO, shows what awesome characters they are and what a great job Chris did and Mariska still does, playing them. I just love writing these two. :-)**

 **I have had a lot of fun researching theories for Munch too :-) I love Munch!**

 **I always love chatting to fellow fans so drop me a review or a message, or check my profile for other ways I chat.**

 **Thank you for coming with me on this journey :-) And do follow me if you would like to get an alert when I start a new story. I am working on one now which is a challenge, so once it gets some momentum I willl start posting.**

 **:-)**


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